Outside, it is a stay at home kind of day. Though the rain has stopped (finally) it is a gloomy grey outside. Inside, I am tired and have little energy. I know I should go for a walk but just the thought of putting my shoes on overwhelms me. 

Last night my husband sent an e mail to his daughter. It was long but full of what needed to be said. I have no idea where this will go but at some point we need to put up firm boundaries. Since she was 14 she has been a source of unending stress and chaos. To be honest, I don't think she will ever be able to have insight to her behaviour. Behaviour that is so off the wall that there are no answers. She has to win at all cost. My husband and I are wondering if she is in fact a Sociopath. She fits every criteria. When you first meet her she is charming, even hypnotic. You want to love her. As you get to know her you find that she never shows remorse or guilt, ever. She invents stories and lies to your face. (She sent an e mail to her dad this week saying I have been sending "hateful" emails to her all year. The last e mail I sent to her was 2 weeks after the birth of  her child. That was in May.) If you call her on it, she vehemently denies it. If you question further she will fly into a rage... and watch out, there will be repercussions for questioning her. She will toss you aside and/or make you regret saying anything. As with many sociopaths, she is highly intelligent. She is a wordsmith and can pull you in with her words and has published poetry. She says things that make you believe she is a normal person, but in the end it is just words. In all the years I have known her she has never shown regret for the way she uses and treats people.To her, other people are a way to gain what she wants. I believe having a baby was a way to bring in a high income for the next 18 years. As I have said, the father of this child and his family are incredibly wealthy. Not just living comfortable but rich. I remember when her child was born the lack of emotion. Just flatness. Not unhappy but no "pride of motherhood". Her baby received no gentle caresses or kisses. Yes, she has cared for the basic needs of her child but as in Maslow's hierarchy she showed no love or tenderness. 

Over the years her dad has tried absolutely everything to reach her. Her own mother went 7 years without seeing her. When most parents (myself included) would have put her in foster care my husband has stood by her. The stories my husband has told me (backed up by court documents) are to the point of unbelievable. How any person could live the way she lives seems too bizarre to be true. She creates chaos and division in her family. Like I said yesterday, she gave her dad and ultimatum saying that unless he left me he would not be able to see his grandchild. (Which is baffling because as I said, until this week I have had zero contact with her since 2 weeks after the birth of her baby.) She hands out ultimatums to everyone. She is cutting and cruel. Honestly, in my (almost) 43 years of being alive I have never met anyone who is, for lack of a better word, this evil.

I struggle because if I was a stranger reading these words I would think, surely she is exaggerating. All I can say is I am only touching the surface. As for having the child taken away, it won't happen. Children are not taken away from a home because of lack of love, they are taken away for abuse and neglect. As of now, she is not abusing or neglecting her child that we know of. The day will come though. One day she will need something from her child.

In the end, it is breaking my husband. It is not only breaking his heart but his spirit. What is a parent to do when their child is this far gone? 

OK, that is enough. I needed to write this all down. 

Have you ever known a sociopath? 

I am using the word "child" here to try to keep some sense of anonymity. Normally I would use the term "son" or "daughter" to describe a baby.