Doesn't this country cottage look lovely?  Look how the ivy covers the outside making it look inviting.  Well don't be fooled!  I give this house 3 months before the ivy cracks the foundation and the house crumbles.  Yes, I am still pulling this shit out. I hate it.  Even though I am wearing gloves my arms are scratched all to hell.  I look like a cutter. Here in my arm.  I have no idea why it looks so long. 

A couple weeks ago I ordered this.  It is a sprinkler that is motion-activated to keep deer from eating my garden but it will keep The Ungrateful Bastard out as well.  I can't wait to see him going in to take a dump on my radishes.  It will be so funny! 

I want to thank all of you for the love you send to me. Today I was thinking for the movie Babe and I remembered this song.  I am sending it to all of you. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1aAqnqBOnE

If I Had Words 

If I had words to make a day for you, 
I'd sing a morning golden & true 
I would make this day last for all time 
then fill the night deep with moonshine. 
If I could make a day for you 
I'd give you a morning golden & true 
I would make this day last for all time 
then fill the night deep with moonshine.

Mama Told Me There Would be Days Like This...and damn I wish she was here.  When my mom was alive I talked to her everyday. Sometimes several times a day.  I would phone her to complain about my acne and crows feet.  I called her to tell her about some cute capri pants I found at the thrift store.  When the kids made me groan or made me proud I would call my mom.  I called her to complain and I would call her when I was sad.  I called her when something made me happy or angry. 
Now that she is gone I miss talking to her so much.  Right now I am going through hot flashes, urine leaking and other things  I can't believe how much I miss her.  Please don't say I can still talk to her because I can't.  It is not the same at all.  I want to hear her voice.  I want to hear her laugh at me when I say I peed in my pants a little.  It would be wonderful to hear her tell me what it was like for her when she was 41. 
There are many things that I do not have any peace with regarding my mom's dying and death.  I don't have it in me to write about her last 4 days of living. I feel like I let her down in so many ways but I can't write about it yet.  I have not had the courage to tell you about how horrible her Celebration of Life went.  
Lately, I guess I can say I am feeling better but only because I have had to resign myself to the fact that she is dead.  There is no place of "acceptance" as Elisabeth Kubler-Ross said.  (Incidentally, did you know Kubler-Ross only ever interviewed seven people?  Hospice workers are now saying the whole 'Five Stages of Grief' is wrong. Her work was never based on anything other than how seven people who were dying felt.  She never interviewed people who had gone through a loss. Yes, there are five feelings people may or may not feel when grieving but there are also dozens of other feelings as well. If you want to read more on this topic this go here.)
So this is how I have been feeling.  Just one foot in front of the other because I have no other options and I do still have so much to live for.  But damn, I wish I could phone my mom right now and ask her if she ever peed in her pants a little. 

Taking a Break From Getting Nothing Done

Monday is generally my catch-up/housework day.  I got up at six this morning to get started on laundry.  From there I read blogs and have been doing housework ever since. Not a one thing has been done.  How is that possible?  I start on a task and then notice something else that needs to be done and get side-tracked.  In one case, I went to change the sheets on my bed.  When I got out the clean bed sheets I noticed that the linen closet was a mess.  The garbage needed to be taken out when I noticed that the glass recycling needed to be sorted and then that reminded me that I have a bag to take to the thrift store at the recycling depot.  When I did a load of laundry I noticed some books that I had put on the washer and went to take them to the bookcase and noticed that I could probably purge a few and take them to the thrift store while I was at it.  Now I have spent almost 6 hours and it doesn't look like a thing has been done.  The bed has been de-sheeted but that is it.  I need a maid.  Or the ability to organize myself.
So, I am mostly out of my grouchy mood.  I am about 75% better. My dad called me last night and told me that a tree fell on his house.  He was not in the same room so he was not hurt and his insurance will cover the damage.  Maybe my mom was letting him know he needed to put on a new roof. 
Well, the washing machine has beeped so I am going to go hang the clothes on the line.  I have no doubt I am going to get very distracted and find something else that needs to be done. 

Crabby and Cranky

What makes a person crabby?  There is nothing out of the ordinary going on but I am in a cranky mood.  I worry I am just becoming an old bag.  Soon I will be yelling at the people going for walks by the front of my home.  I will complain at restaurants.  I will write letters to the newspaper.  One of my problems is I let other people's negative energy get to me.  When will I learn? When will I not allow people into my heart too soon?  It makes me sad that my light can be so easily snuffed out by others.  Why can't it be the other way around?  Anyway, I am crabby. 
OK, onto other subjects.  Does anyone else think the pictures of numbers on the word verification are creepy?  They look like house numbers.  
I need to go get ready for work.  Sleep well, blog friends.


It is now about 12 hours later and I am still in a bad mood.  Even the chirping birds are pissing me off.  Is it just me or does anyone else have days when you hate everything?  Here are some things that I hate right now.

• Having to pee every 20 minutes when I drink water.
• It won't stop raining here.  My garden is going to drown.
• TV and all the stupid reality shows.  Why is everyone so mean to each other and why are people watching it?  Bullying is alive and well and people are eating it up despite what people think.
• There is nothing to do in my city.  You either go to the bar or go to the bar.  When there are things to do they are on the weekend but I can't go because I have to work.
• My fiancé is talking and talking right now and I just want to sit and blog. (Sorry my love, I know you read this blog.  I love you very much but I am in a foul mood today.)
• I am sick to death of political correctness.  If I say something that is not politically correct it is not because I am a bigot or racist. It does not mean that I think I am better than anyone.  I am just saying words that were OK to use in my day and I can't keep up with all the right ways to say things.
• Yogurt commercials and the size zero women they use to try to convince to me to eat yogurt. (Just as I typed that a Danone commercial came on.)
• Newspapers.   
• Crappy drivers.  I am good driver.  I have never even been in a fender bender nor have I ever had a speeding ticket and it pisses me off that I have to pay so much for insurance.

I am going to stop now.  I hope my mood improves.  I am going to go to bed and take an Ativan. 

My Day in Bullets

• Saw a man walking up the road dressed in red spandex from head to toe pushing a shopping cart full of cans.
• Called the vet regarding the cat in my previous post. They got a hold of the owners.
• I got a new phone.  It is a land line and has a cord.  I don't know what most of the features are for.
• Picked my kids up as school.  Last day! 
• Took my kids to an eye appointment.  My daughter decided to get contacts instead of glasses.
• Made "compost tea".  It consists of putting finished compost into an old pillow-case, letting it sit overnight in a large bucket of water.  It is supposed to be very good for vegetables.  Will see.
• Went out for Indian food but felt ripped off because I wanted the owner to be more like Babu Bhatt. 
• For some unknown reason I am grieving the loss of my mom.  Time is not healing.  I just miss her more.
• I ate a banana.  I hate bananas.
• Norbert (the Ungrateful Bastard) is grounded for killing birds.  He is not allowed to go outside after 4:00 in the afternoon as it is his witching hour.  
• My fiancé wants me to stomp on any carpenter ants that I see but I feel terrible any time I kill anything.  I wonder if I can set up an ant relocation program?  I guess they will just find their way back. *sigh*   

Does anyone know how to fix this?  I am currently following a lot of blogs but ever since the last restructure of Blogger I can no longer follow them in the same way.  Since there is no longer a "Follow" button I am forced to use the Google Friend Connect button.  I now have two different lists.  I am now showing up as "Birdie" but also under a profile that I only use for a book club forum.  Is anyone else having this problem?


This is now fixed!  Thank you!! 


Jeannie said...You can follow without the follow button. Highlight the web address (the main only, without the specific page info) you wish to follow, CTRL C (copy). On your dashboard, under Reading List, click the ADD button. in the URL box, CTRL V to paste. And done.

Isa from The M Chart awarded me with the Sunshine award!

Here are the details:

The Sunshine Award is given by bloggers to bloggers. The recipients of the Sunshine Award are "Bloggers who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere."

The way the award works is this:

Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them.

Answer 10 questions about yourself. 
Select 10 of your favorite bloggers, link their blogs to your post and let them know they've been awarded the Sunshine Award!
Don't forget to copy and paste the award on your blog!


10 Questions: 

Favourite Colour? Strange but my favourite colour changes.  At this moment it is pink. In an hour from now it could be something else. 


Favourite Animal? Cats and Crows


Favourite Number? 9  (I love the 9 X's tables.)


Favourite Drink? I drink a lot of water.  I also love skim milk. 


Facebook or Twitter? Don't like either. 


Good Book or Good Movie? Book.  Always a book. 


My Passion?  My garden, genealogy, reading, chocolate, 


Giving or Getting Presents? Giving.  (honest!)


Favourite Day? Sunday


Favourite Flowers? Sweet Peas


Now, 10 blogs to pass this on to.... If you like it feel free to do it. :-)

Poor Kitty

While driving today I noticed a cat near the edge of the road.  It was just inches away from being hit so I got out of my car to shoo it away.  It was hiding in the grass so if anyone came along it was sure to get hit.  When I went to shoo it away the poor thing just looked up at me and meowed.  I got closer to it and it just kept looking up at me.  I petted it and the poor thing was all skinny and dehydrated.  He allowed me to pick him up so I decided to take him home.  My daughter held him in her coat while I drove and I was thinking how bad of an idea it was to take it home.  The cat was obviously sick and I knew my two cats would not welcome another cat into the fold, especially a sick one.  I was going to take it to the SPCA but decided against it because they have made a name for themselves for being over-the-top rude.  Instead I took it to the nearest vet where they could at least try to find it's owner.  When I got there the vet said kitty needed immediate medical attention and they were going to contact the owner and if they could not get a hold of them it would be surrendered to the SPCA.  They weird thing?  The vet had this look like she thought the cat was mine and I was just getting rid of it.  I understand that people do this all the time but I really am just a cat-lover/concerned citizen.  I was about to get my credit card out to pay for whatever the cat needed.  You know that guilty feeling when you haven't done anything wrong? This has happened to before and I don't get it.  Until it can be proven that I am a piece of shit, don't treat me like one. I would never leave a distressed animal by the side of the road.  Anyway, I did leave my name and phone number because the cat was beautiful and I want to know how he fares.  

My kids are not loving being grounded.  My son had to cut the lawn today and got all pissed off when I didn't say "thank you".  Seriously.  Yet another First World Problem.  I am really looking forward to the Child Labour essays! 
What are your First World Problems this week?

Don't Piss Off Mama

 For the first time ever I have had to ground my children.  The lovely teenagers have not been very lovely this week.  I asked them on Wednesday to clean up downstairs.  I asked them again Thursday and on Friday.  Last night I went downstairs and nothing had been done.  I told them that I wanted it clean by the time I got home from work this morning.  (You know where this is going.)  They still didn't do a thing!  I am very angry at this point but I just got home from work and didn't have the energy to go wake them up and throttle  speak to them.  Instead, I sent an e mail. This is what it said. 

CHILDREN,

SERIOUSLY? YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULD CLEAN DOWNSTAIRS AND IT IS A PIGSTY! I WANT IT CLEANED LIKE IT HAS NEVER BEEN CLEANED OR YOU WILL BOTH BE GROUNDED FOR THE FIRST WEEK OF VACATION. I AM TALKING VACUUMING, DUSTING, LITTER BOX, FLOOR WASHED, COUNTERS, DISHES...EVERYTHING!

I AM NOT HAPPY.

LOVE,

YOUR MOTHER

I got up this afternoon and it was still a mess.  I freaked.  Then I freaked out some more.  They are taking advantage of my easy-going personality.  Now they are both grounded.  No going out, no computers or IPOD.  I am making each of them write a one-thousand word essay on child labour.  I am also working on a lengthy list of chores that will be done this week.  If the list is not completed, they will be grounded another week. 

Don't piss off Mama.  

This could be my daughter.  (The video is a joke, it is not true.)

I mentioned in my last post that I had been sworn to secrecy about an upcoming event.  That event is not passed so now I can talk about it.  My sister got married on the weekend!  She and her partner have two children together and have been together forever.  They finally decided to get married as a surprise at my niece's first birthday party.  I was told because I had to get the time off work.  The ceremony was short and intimate.  They had their two daughters standing up with them and they all held hands. My sister, the thrifting queen had a gorgeous ivory dress on that she found second-hand.  Her husband was dressed in his typical casual style.  It was really nice.  I never thought my sister was going to have children, let alone get married so it was an extra special day.  
My papa (grandfather) celebrated his 90th birthday this weekend.  Bless his heart, he didn't recognize anyone.  Oh well, I think he had a nice time.  Unfortunately, I am still not feeling well and had to leave early.  My home toilet was calling.  
Not much else going on.  Kids are almost finished school for the year.  Yay!  I always love it when they are home.  I got these new books today.   Mind of a Raven, Gifts of the Crow,  In the Company of Crows and Ravens and  Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight: What to Do If You Are Sensory Defensive in an Overstimulating World.  They should keep me busy for a couple of weeks.  
What are you currently reading? 

Today I Should

I should get out of my robe and pyjamas.  I should eat something healthy for lunch.  I should vacuum the carpet.  I should put my clothes in the dryer.  I should change the sheets on the bed.  I should go get groceries.  I should go to the library and pick up my holds.  I should take a water sample from my hot tub to get tested.  I should water the plants in the green house.  I should brush my teeth.  I should pay the gas bill.  I should go by the Canadian Cancer Society and see if there is someone I can speak to about my dad.  I should unload the dishwasher.  I should call my dad.  (OK, I just did and he's not home.)  I should decide what I am going to wear this weekend to my Papa's 90th birthday (and another event that I have been sworn to secrecy not to tell.)  I should go buy my niece a gift for her first birthday.  I should mail my sisters birthday card.  (I guess I can do that later in the week.)  I should go buy my Papa some crossword books.  I should go pick up my prescription.  Wonder how many of these things will get done today? 


Update - I did all of the above except going to the Canadian Cancer Society (ran out of time), get crosswords for my papa    (the store did not have large print), get my niece a birthday gift (my sister told me not to), mail my sister's birthday card (I will do this later in the week).