It was a day. A day with low lower anxiety. Whooot! I don't know if it is the anti-anxiety medication or it was just an easier day but I did OK today. Don't get me wrong, the day did not start well. It started with a call from the people that offer the Cognitive Behaviour Therapy group and finding out I likely won't be able to go because it is on Friday. I work on Friday. I have been waiting since mid-December for this group and thinking I was going to have a space in this group is one of the things that has got me to this point. When the lady told me it was Friday and not offered any other day I started to cry. The lady was just so kind and offered to have me in on a one-on-one to help me. It was not exactly what I wanted because in this case I think a group would really be beneficial. After I got off the phone I was still upset, really upset. It is a huge drag to be depressed. It is like when you have the flu and just want to feel better. But there is nothing you can do to make it go away faster. You just have to get on the pot and shit and shit and shit.
Anyway, I did go to Al Anon today and it was as usual a great meeting. Not only that, it was right across the street from somewhere else I needed to go to today. Normally I would have had to go to our hellish downtown and parallel park. First, there are never any spots so you have to drive around the block about 10 times until you find someone pulling out. Since my Al Anon group is held in a church I was able to park there (for free!) and just run across the street and drop off the documents that I needed to drop off. Isn't it a silly thing that something so small can make such a huge difference?
Right now I am watching My Cat From Hell on Netflix. Norbert is like Jesus compared to these demon spawns. Holy crap!
Take the one on one for now, anything is better than nothing, right? Every little bit of help is a gift, don't turn it down. Try to be a "yes" girl!
ReplyDeleteInteresting that you would prefer group CBT. I much prefer one on one. (And this is why there's no single cure for depression!)
ReplyDeleteTry it anyway, just for now. At least you'll have a life line.
Well done on the better day. Count that as a success. And well done for noticing the positive about the parking space. These are Good Things!
A better day is a win, and every win counts.
ReplyDeleteHugs.
A good parking space is a major win in my thinking.
ReplyDeleteIs there really such a movie as MY CAT FROM HELL?
There's no possibility that your employer could give you time off on Friday to attend the group or reschedule your hours so you could go? It seems like a pretty critical healthcare issue that an employer should accommodate. It's in the employer's best interests to keep you healthy and working.
ReplyDeleteLower anxiety - YAY!
ReplyDeleteGlad you were offered the one-on-one CBT.
Think I'll make my husband watch My Cat from Hell. Maybe then Squeaky the Cat won't look like such a pain in the ass :)
It IS the small things and may these small steps and gifts continue until they are large. As large as needed.
ReplyDeleteTake the one-on-one. I found such sessions very helpful.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, take anything you can get. Nothing beats the talking cure. And you’re allowed to talk, without having to worry if the other person is bored.
Talking to a therapist brought out things I never knew I was keeping hidden.
Apart from that, cuddle the cat. That helps too.
I love when things fall into place. Like finding out there is plenty of parking for someplace you have to be.
ReplyDeleteParking is always a problem for me. A good parking spot is definitely something to be happy about.
ReplyDeleteShit happens.....
ReplyDeleteCheers!
Linda :o)
I don't think it's silly at all. Those little things can make or break your day sometimes!
ReplyDeleteOK, I'm sorry, I am totally laughing at the pot analogy!
ReplyDeleteYou'd think they'd offer another group. Grr.