Bill W., founder of Alcoholics Anonymous died 43 years ago today. A man most horrible when he was drinking. A man most amazing when he finally stopped. When he finally found recovery he and Dr. Bob started to talk to each other about being drunks and they found that it helped them to stay sober. Since then there have been numerous groups that have used the 12 Steps to aid recovery. Narcotics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Co-dependents Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous. And my group. The group that has made me realize my own insanity was not uncommon. Al Anon.

My biological father drinks. A lot. My brother is celebrating 25 years sober. (whooot!) But it has nothing to do with them. It has to do with me and my own shortcomings and defects of character. When you read the story of Lois W. (Bill's wife) you wonder why and how she stayed. She firmly believed that her love for Bill would be enough to stop him from drinking. She stayed with the chaos while he lost jobs and had nowhere to live. She stayed with him through all the crazy things that a drunk brings to their lives and the lives of others. She kept believing that her love would be enough even though he would spend their last dime on alcohol. After Bill stopped drinking she thought she would be happy. She wasn't. She was miserable. Why? Because Lois was just as sick as her husband. Her codependency was her problem. She started talking to the spouses of alcoholics and she in turn found that it helped her to realize she had just as many problems as her husband. Talking to others helped to keep her on track. It helped her deal with her own sickness.

And so it continues today. 

"The Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope in order to solve their common problems. We believe alcoholism is a family illness and that changed attitudes can aid recovery."

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/home