Outside the sky has opened up and letting down the rain like is had been storing it up there for months. It started last night and has not let up. This is not a light rain but a torrential downpour. Life in what used to be a rain forest. Along with the rain comes the darkness. It is so dark and dreary. I have no desire to go out in the rain but I will have to at some point. You would think that being raised with this weather I would be used to it but if anything I am just getting tired of it.
Mood wise, it is a blue-gray day for me. I am so tired even though I slept well last night and had a nap. Anxiety has a way of sucking your energy. There are things going on with one of my step-daughters that is causing incredible stress. Last night she emailed her dad with an ultimatum that unless he left me he would not be able to see his grandchild. In the same e mail she listed several different people that she has had disputes with and no longer "allowing" to see her child. The list includes her child's father, his parents and sister and her own sister. She is announcing that she will be moving and changing her child's and her surname so she can be unsearchable. I knew when she got pregnant that things would be bad but not this bad. She is over the top crazy. As I have said before, she got pregnant with her sister's boyfriend, drank and smoked during her pregnancy, doesn't work, never graduated from high school or have a driver's license. She didn't even have an apartment and was living at a woman's shelter when she got pregnant. Oh, she got into a dispute with them as well. (Incidentally, the pregnancy was planned. We are quite certain that she chose the father of her child because he makes a lot of money and his parents are well known in their community and very wealthy.) She blames all the problems in her life on everyone else and has zero insight that she does this. This same woman has gone through 3 doctors because she gets into disputes with them. One of the doctors she got into a dispute with is rated in the top 10 doctors in the province. Anyway...I am venting. The anxiety and stress she is causing is not good for where I am right now. I am working at being Mindful of the anxiety and though it is working I have so far to go. I need to go to Reiki or something.
OK, I have vented enough. Time for a cup of tea.
Oh my she does sound like a bit too much to handle on a good day. Try not to think about her because there's really nothing you can do about her. I feel badly for the baby.
ReplyDeleteI suspect that she cuts out anyone from her life who doesn't jump to her bidding, or who indicates that her behaviour is less than perfect. Which probably means that being excommunicated is a badge of honour.
ReplyDeleteTake as much care of yourself as you can.
Hugs.
I would just pray a little for her. It does feel good to pray for some one who you want to help but you are not able to. Trying to help some one can take us in a downward spiral as well. Taking deep breaths and praying for her might help you relax as well.
ReplyDeleteHow sad that she is using an innocent child to emotionally blackmail people. Some people shouldn't be parents at all. That poor baby... Don't focus on her toxic behaviour. Focus on your health, and taking care of yourself right now.
ReplyDeleteI joined a 12-step program (OA) and have learned (and most of the time I remember) to accept the things I cannot change...Meditation has helped as well (I have a crazier-than-batsh*t brother and sister-in-law).
ReplyDeleteI wish you luck.
Holy wow. Using a baby as a hostage to control other people's relationships? Seems like a well-adjusted person suited for motherhood. Yikes. I wish you the best of luck dealing with this.
ReplyDeleteSheesh. None of this is your fault.
ReplyDelete~Beth
Anyone who uses an innocent baby to get what they want is truly a demented person. Even worse is that you can't do a thing about it. She will use everything she can against you. It's sad but so true.
ReplyDeleteDon't let your anxiety level rise because of this. Take care of yourself.
You must do what my daughter does. She simply dismisses those types of drama and says "I do not have room for that in my life right now."
ReplyDeleteYour daughter sounds wise.
DeleteSo sad to use a little baby that way. But you hand in there, you. I know you are strong and you will make it through this recent batch of crap.
ReplyDeletePlease don't let her attitude drag you back down. Whatever you do she'll cause trouble. So do what's best for you. I hope your husband has enough sense to tell her to grow up and not give in to her blackmail.
ReplyDeleteThat all sounds very messy and distressing. No matter how we try not to let the behaviour of others affect us, it is hard not to. Especially when it involves the man you love. I hope he is mindful of her track record and can deal with her firmly with regards this. I totally agree about people who use children in this way. It is really heartbreaking and has long term effects on the children. You take care of you Birdie.There are some Buddhist mindfulness exercises about sending loving kindness to ourselves and to others(especially those we feel angry or upset with or those we find it hard to like). I tried to practice them once or twice and though it is difficult it did make me feel more peaceful. xxx
ReplyDeleteYikes!
ReplyDeleteHang in there Birdie....
Perhaps the child should be taken away.....
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ReplyDeleteUgh! Hang in - has anyone called Child Protective Services with these emails?
ReplyDelete