Praying for my mom's death. That is what I was doing two years ago tonight. I had left her at the hospital and raged at God. Nobody should suffer like that. And to be honest, I wanted her gone not just for her sake but for my dad's and mine as well. In the time she was in palliative care my dad got old. I swear his hair turned gray, his stepped slowed and his spirit was drained. He stopped smiling. He seemed confused at how he should be acting. Anyway, after I prayed God saw it was time to take her the next morning. I had prepared for her dying but not her death. It has been two years and it doesn't hurt like it did. It still hurts though. A lot. I miss her more now that ever. 

Anyway...

I bought an air conditioner today. Yes, summer is over but it was a good deal and I could not pass it up.  A local thrift store sends out e mails of their bigger items and it was for sale a few days ago but I figured it would be gone so I didn't bother. I received another e mail this morning and the price had gone down so I phoned and bought it. Next summer will be much more bearable and maybe I won't be as cranky.

During the last two years many of you have been my stand in mother. You nurture me, love me, listen to my joys and sorrows and give me advice. I am forever grateful because I do not know how I would have made it through the last two years without you. Mothers are everywhere if we are open to having them in our lives. My mom would thank you for loving me.