This morning I got off work at 8:00 and came home, had breakfast, went to bed and slept straight for 11 hours. Vaguely I remember waking up and thinking I should go to the bathroom but I fell back to sleep. Yes, I was very. very tired. Sometimes working nights catches up to me all at once. I have now been awake for 3 hours and headed back to bed.
Last year on the anniversary month of my mom's death I don't remember feeling this lost or sad. Maybe I did but I don't think so. It seemed the whole year was hard and when September rolled around it just felt this same. This year tears come to my eyes and grief rolls over me like a wave, knocking me to the ground. I have put time in for time off work (just 3 days) next week but have yet to hear back. It looks like I will get it though. It would be nice because I really need time to work some things out.
So, this is it for today. Really, really tired. I just wanted to remind you all that I love you and appreciate you more than you could possibly know. I am very introverted and don't spend a great deal of time talking to humans so blogging is my biggest support.
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╰╰━━╯╯╮╮┃┊THANK⠀U!┊┃
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I sorta understand where you're coming from. I'm a real introvert, too, and am falling more and more into a hermit's lifestyle. I do like to get out, and see my quilting and music friends, but, most of the time, I would really rather stay home and be in the company of my cats, my quilting my orchids, my garden, and listening to jazz. I really love the internet, and blogging, and FaceBook, because it allows me to be social in my own way, but not have to be really involved in "being social". I'm 71 years old and feel I've earned the right to live and do for me. I admit, I'm selfish with my time and my energies. I've bloody well earned that right! So, rock on... be your sweet introverted self! I love your blog, and I'm with you to the max!! xoxox
ReplyDeleteIntroverts of the world unite. The blogosphere is such a lifesaver for me.
ReplyDeleteI have found grief to be a total bitch who pokes sharp bony fingers in my eyes and heart. Sometimes out of the blue.
It will ease off. Really it will.
And I love the pictures you are able to draw with your keyboard. Sooooo clever.
Anniversary dates are hard. Hugs to you! Yes, we introverts love the blogosphere, don't we? Lots of us here!
ReplyDeleteI hope you know that it's still okay to let the tears come if they need to, it's all part of the process.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about making new friends here and the whole scene doesn't even appeal to me. I must be an introvert too? Lol duh!
Get lots of rest, and take it one day at a time. Anniversaries are so hard to deal with when they come around. {{{{Lots of hugs for you}}}} I love all the amazing people I've met on the blogosphere, particularly all my fellow introverts.
ReplyDeleteYou’re welcome.
ReplyDeleteStill sad, eh? My mum died many years ago and I still haven’t finished with her. There are still so many questions which will never get answered.
One generation after the other, that’s how it goes. Have a little cry, if the mood takes you. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t.
You are going through the natural grieving process. They say it takes a year, but ya know what? Their is no time limit to grief.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom died from cancer 20 plus years ago and I still have my moments when it knocks me to my knees.
HUGS
Glad you love your blog and blogland. If you diodn't you might disappear and then what would I do. I'm something of an introvert too. Though a bit mixed.lol.
ReplyDeleteGlad too you have some time just now to be with family or to do whatever you need to do. Take care of yourself. Big hug.
Hey, I am glad bloggers are a source of support for you! I'm an introvert also - I can write a lot more than I can express myself if I talk.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to believe another anniversary is looming... it seems like just yesterday, and i'm just a lookie-loo looming around your blog. I imagine it feels very fresh to you.
ReplyDeleteHugs, big giant hugs...