Thank god I took my three days away or today would have done me in. That and the armed guards. What? Peaceful, gentle (slightly deranged) Birdie was in the presence of armed guards? Yes, I was.
It all started last week when I received a letter from Revenue Canada asking me for a copy of proof of child support that my kid's dad pays and proof that I have custody. I could either go to court house and get the copies at my expense or have my children's father write a two-line letter stating that I have custody and how much he pays each month in child support. Now as I have explained before, for 12 years I have never gone after him for more child support. He has been paying the same amount for 12 years! Also, I had the Family Maintenance Enforcement Program taken away so he would not be required to pay on the first of each month. He was having problems paying on the first of the month so I was trying to "treat others how I want to be treated" and let him pay whenever he could. He said the FMEP was making his life miserable so I cut him some slack and said as long as he pays every month I don't care. See how nice I have been? What other person would do this?
Over the years I have given him full access to the kids and he can see them whenever he wants. I even give him first choice on every holiday including Christmas. Why? Because I am a nice person.
Then last week I thought I would ask him for the two fucking lines in a note but he would not do it. So off I went to the court house where I had to copy 56 sheets at $1.00 a sheet. Did I mention the automatic paper feed did not work? One sheet at a time. It took an hour. I was getting so angry while I sat there because why couldn't he just write the fucking note? (At this point an armed guard walked by. I am guessing it was the sheriff.) All I have done over the years and it is never reciprocated. And today, it all became too much. I AM TIRED OF BEING NICE! I give up. He can start paying what he owes and when it is due. He can also pay the three months that he hasn't paid. I am done. In the letter I am giving him 3 weeks to get caught up or I will have the FMEP put back into place so I no longer have to deal with him.
Anyway, I got all 56 pages sent off (at $1.00 a sheet!) and I just have to wait to hear back. I have no concerns because I have never lied to Revenue Canada.
In other news, I have taken a week off work! Yay!
You're absolutely right. Let FMEP deal with him!
ReplyDeleteWhat a day.
ReplyDeleteHowever, yay for getting him to pay what he owes. You have bent over backwards to help him - and he has essentially slapped you in the face.
And yay for a week off. Pamper yourself at least a little each day.
OMG every single one of my friends who has an ex and has to deal with child support payments has always been too damn nice and ended up royally effed! I'm certain that the biggest reason my husband has kept me around so long is that he knows it would be "cheaper to keep her" because he knows there'd be no Mrs. Nice Guy with me.
ReplyDeleteI'm kind of a horrible person.
I should give lessons.
I filed contempt of court charges against my (1st) ex for non-payment of support, he wasn't paying AT ALL, and owed me over $10,000. (I don't know what how much that is in Canadian money, but here it is a LOT.)
ReplyDeleteI wish I would have done it sooner, but I am glad you are not letting him get away with it.
Go girl, Go!!
Don't even look back. You're doing the exact right thing here. Which, may I point out, he obviously has no interest in doing.
ReplyDeleteNot your problem.
Sounds like you've been too nice. Karma always comes back to bite you in the butt, so it sounds like your kid's Dad will get a taste of that real soon. Good for you.
ReplyDeleteHope this gets sorted soon.
ReplyDeleteWhy is the MAN always allowed to be so prickish in these situations!
ReplyDeleteWhy can't they just do as they are supposed to do?
My eldest went thru a divorce...luckily no kids...and the money in escrow still isn't settled...10 years later!!!
She did everything the lawyers demanded...he ignored everything!
I guess James Brown was right...
"This is a Man's World"...
GEEEESH!
Good luck, my friend!
Cheers!
Linda :o)
I know it cost you a lot of time and money, but isn't the feeling of standing up for yourself wonderful?! Good for you! Enjoy your week off.
ReplyDeleteYay You!!
Dawn
Do it and don't feel guilty. And do NOT allow him or anyone else to make you feel guilty, or make you think you're doing something wrong. This is about the kids, not about him. Whatever he needs to pay goes toward the care and well-being of his children.
ReplyDeleteThink of it as Professional v. Unprofessional or Businesslike v. Un-businesslike. Take nice and nasty out of the equation and give yourself a pat on the back for being so Professional.
ReplyDeleteBeing nice never solves anything. I'm glad you came out of the fog and into the light. You give him hell, girl!
ReplyDeleteYou should go to that B&B more often. You're so empowered. I like the new you.
If you need some of my lemons to squeeze in his face just let me know! Go gettem kiddo!
ReplyDeleteThe only advise I have for you is that eventually the kids grow up and you won't have to deal with him at all. And as they become adults they start understanding without your imput what a prick he is.
ReplyDeleteGood for you!
ReplyDelete