- I am still depressed. More depressed that I have ever been in my entire life. I didn't know depression could get this bad.
- I am still tired. So very tired.
I did venture out today and took my kids to see The Hobbit but came right back home. I then cried for about an hour. Right now my house is cold but I have no desire to go put on the furnace. That takes effort.
Since this whole awful thing has started I have lost about 10 pounds. I just have no desire to eat. I am eating about one decent meal a day but that is all I can manage. Losing that much weight is no big deal. I would need to do that 6 times over for it even to begin to be a concern. I have a lot of weight on the hoof.
I am trying really hard to keep up reading blogs. Right now I am just visiting those who are visiting me. There are just so many blogs and it overwhelms me.
Almost time for bed, thank God. At least at night I can shut off my brain and sleep.
One last thing. I just was looking at my stats and I am getting huge amounts of page views everyday. (I get between 15- 20 comments.) Who is reading my blog and not commenting? Is this just entertainment? Are people betting on whether or not I am going to make it through Christmas? Are people stopping by to see if I finally had the nerve to end it. Seriously, WTF?
One last thing. I just was looking at my stats and I am getting huge amounts of page views everyday. (I get between 15- 20 comments.) Who is reading my blog and not commenting? Is this just entertainment? Are people betting on whether or not I am going to make it through Christmas? Are people stopping by to see if I finally had the nerve to end it. Seriously, WTF?
I know it is hard, but please be patient. Give your meds time to work. Be patient with yourself.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that I don't always comment. I often don't know what to say or think that what I have to say would be of any help. But I do not think this is entertainment. I am hopeful each evening that you will post and happy that you won another day when you do.
ReplyDeleteI never believe those Blogger stats. They're always telling me stuff that makes no logical sense. I often get high stats for some minor "housekeeping" type post (like saying I'll on hiatus for awhile or something) and I know damn well no one is clicking on that one a gazillion times.
ReplyDeleteI have the same thing on my blog, lots of views but not many comments. I'm not sure if there are that many people visiting but I know there are some blogs I visit but don't comment on. The way to get more people to comment is to comment on their blogs, at least that's how it's worked for me.
ReplyDeleteI do find entertainment in reading blogs but not in people who are struggling. I wish I could help in some way but the only thing I can do is offer my sympathy.
Hugs and love. Always.
ReplyDeleteStats, shmatz. I suspect people just checking to make sure you are posting.
One slow step at a time. We are with you.
I check in about ten times a day since I have no blog reader anymore and have no damn clue when anyone posts.
ReplyDelete#singlehandedlyholdinguptheinternet
YOU LOST 10 POUNDS!!!!
There is always an upside.
It's so cold and snowy here, it feels like Siberia.
I don't get those page view stats either. I get loads too.. yet they don't comment. I wonder who from Russia or China reads what I say!). Apparently its the 1st day of Winter here in the UK.. thought we were in winter ages ago.. its so bloomin' cold.
ReplyDeleteI lost 20 pounds when I got depression, it was the only good thing that happened to me.
ReplyDeleteLike Dawna I get loads of hits from Russia with no links or comments. I think it's just bots. They make no sense at all.
Don't get worked up about people visiting and not commenting. I average about five times more visits than comments on my blog. And I sometimes visit you more than once, to see what comments people have added - but I don't say I've been back.
ReplyDeleteI know you're finding it tough at the moment but it's that time of year. It affects lots of people that way so it will only make your depression feel worse. Sometimes it's the lack of light, sometimes it's the pressure of the holidays, sometimes it's just because it's cold and wet and miserable. It will get better. Really it will.
Hugs and stuff. AJ
Thank goodness for sleep. May today be better.
ReplyDeletePeople are reading your blog to see how you are because they care or because they too are depressed and hope you will find answers. They may not comment for fear of saying something wrong to make things more difficult for you. I worry about commenting myself because I would hate worse than anything to make a comment that I think would help and instead it would turn out to hurt. Be glad people are reading your blog and don't try to read something bad into it.
ReplyDeleteDebra is right. Don't believe all those stats. Personally, I think they are over rated.
ReplyDeleteBirdie you need to give your meds a chance to build up in your system in order to work.
I'm sorry I made you cry watching that orchestra flash mob on my blog. I didn't think it would do that. So sorry dear.
People read many blogs without commenting. I used to comment less in the past; now I comment quite often because I'm more comfortable in the blogging world, and I've gotten to know (and really like) some bloggers. And sometimes people just don't know what to say. Better to say nothing than say something that will be upsetting.
ReplyDeleteThe days will start getting longer now, and your meds will pick up the pace as the weeks go by. There is a light up ahead. Watch for it. It's coming!
I'm reading. But not always commenting. But beaming you love just the same. I'm sorry that I haven't commented more. But I'm here. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteMe too♥♥♥
ReplyDeletePeople might not know what to say. Words sometimes feel hollow don't you think? Also people might be depressed too but haven't been so open about it. Or it might be one of those crawly thingys. What do you call them? Search bots? I am so not internet savvy. ;)
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about visiting my blog. Goodness knows when I will ever have the time or energy to blog. Life is going at breakneck speed around here and there are changes afoot that are hurtling towards me far too fast for my liking. I will hopefully blog sometime over the holiday but don't you worry about commenting or visiting my blog. You just get yourself well. xxxx
I hear you about the people who stop by but never say anything. I always figure I must not give them anything to glomp onto and want to respond. Oh well, such is life. So, I've come by after seeing your name mentioned on another blog. Sorry to read that times are so hard for you right now. Hoping you can see some better days ahead.
ReplyDelete