Friday, December 27, 2013

I Get Knocked Down

The last few weeks have been the hardest three weeks of my life and there is no way I could ever have kept up with blogging. The process of getting up everyday is difficult. Going about my day is difficult. I go to counseling and wait for my medication to start working. My counselor is going to be sending me to a program called "Changeways". It is a program that introduces cognitive behavioural therapy and a developmental (mental ha ha) to understanding and treating depression.  It will be a few months before I can get in but it is not for people who are in crisis but have steadied. At the moment, there are snippets of light in my day only for it to cloud over again. I live for the belief that the snippets of light will be longer and more often.  I am still really struggling but...

I get knocked down 
But I get up again 
You're never going to keep me down 


20 comments :

  1. What a wonderful song you have posted today.
    Big, big smiles.
    Hope and love.

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  2. I am so glad you're actively seeking help. Glad to see you here too. Love.

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  3. Good for you, Birdie! Like that old oriental saying goes -- "Get knocked down 10 times, get up 11."

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  4. Cognitive behavior therapy works well for depression. I'm glad that you'll be doing that. You take care.

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  5. Oh Birdie! I have been MIA and am just now checking in on your blog. I am so very sorry that you are so incredibly down (for the lack of a better word).

    Simply put, depression is a PMSing bitch. I pray that you are able to get the right support to help you see and feel that life can be very good.

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  6. I was hoping to wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I hope all is well. At the least, I do hope you find that thing that keeps you down and put it down the trash.

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  7. Heh heh heh! I told you Chumbawamba was the answer!!!!
    Go to the music Birdie! I should make you a playlist! Brace yourself, shits about to get happy!

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  8. It's so good to see you today! You're a fighter, that's for sure. And as long as you keep getting up again you'll get better. Keep singing. LOUD!

    CBT worked wonders for me - but I hated how long I had to wait to get the treatment. You might be able to find some ideas online that would give you a head start. Or maybe you could ask your counsellor for a few ideas.

    My counsellor recommended a book called Feeling Good, the New Mood Therapy by a guy called David Burns. It's not as good as having the 'proper' treatment, but it helped keep me going till I reached the front of the queue.

    http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-The-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336

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  9. Changeways sounds like a great thing. Hopefully you go into it open-minded. Sometimes when you pretend to be a certain way, it starts to take hold and you eventually are that way. Like when you fake smile, then eventually the smile turns genuine.

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  10. Love this song. Very suitable for you I think. Keep on getting up. Though it seems impossible at the worsed times, you just have to hang on to the thought that you have felt better before and you will again. I know that terrible fear that you will slide back down again but the good times or even the ok times will get you through. Also this Changeways sounds great. I had some CBT which did help as does mindfulness but you have to constantly work at it and I tend to tail off once I feel better. Glad to see you each day that you feel up to it. Each one is a bonus. xx

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  11. I hope you keep looking for the light,,,,glimpses will get longer

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  12. I have heard that tune a zillion times but never knew the words. Could not be more perfect for you or any of us. You made my day with that. For someone who is supposed to be needing help, you seem to be helping the rest of us more than we are helping you.

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  13. One day at a time.. one foot in front of the other. You'll get there.

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  14. That song is a winner. Thanks for sharing. I think I need to listen to it a couple dozen times a day. Hoping for big and good changes for you, and soon. xoxoxxx

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  15. Takes a licking but keeps on ticking! Proud of you getting help and kicking butt!

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  16. That's the spirit! Hang in there -- good days WILL come! A blessed, peaceful new year to you and yours :)

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  17. Intending the Light is coming into your life, and that more good things are coming your way as well. I know how difficult this year has been… sending you huge hugs.

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  18. Yes, you will get back up!! Good for you. Hang in. It will get better, I promise.

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  19. That is a good song - I hope listening to it helps a bit.

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Isaiah 1:18