I am glad you all like the Winter Solstice box. In answer to your questions, yes I have done this before but on a much smaller scale. I just had a soup can and burnt a couple of things I wanted to let go. And yes, this was my idea. I have heard of people doing similar ideas but the sealed box and the slips of paper were my idea. I have a lot of things I need to let go so I needed something bigger than a soup can!
Today was a hard day but I got through it with a fair bit of crying and a bit of yelling (I even had the Ungrateful Bastard running in fear) and lots of cross stitch. I have to admit though I am doing everything right I am not feeling better yet. I just can't shake this deep sadness. I am just not feeling a desire to want to live but nor am I really wanting to not live. I don't know. It is all confusing.
I am happy with our Christmas tree and the wee Christmas village so there's that. I changed the sheets on the bed today so there is that too. I ordered some more cross stitch stuff today including a needle threader because I am going to poke someone. I am getting too old to thread needles. I also ordered proper cross stitch needles and the tapestry to the left.
As usual, I am so tired so i am off to bed.
Love your new tapestry. And need a needle threader myself.
ReplyDeleteHugs.
Oh Birdie, you sound so much like me! 'I'm doing everything right so why aren't I well NOW?' It takes time my dear. And I know you hate that idea.
ReplyDeleteKeep doing the cross stitch. Cry if you need to. Shout if you need to. This is YOUR recovery and you do whatever you need to make it work.
***hugs***
Threading a needle is maddening. You can't expect to feel better right away. It's a slow, plodding process. Depression is not like a cold that just goes away after taking a lot of vitamin C. But the desire not to not live is progress. Keep progressing.
ReplyDeleteProper cross-stitch needles will help a lot! They're blunt and easier to work with. Bigger eye holes too, if I recall correctly.
ReplyDeleteI think that shouting is a good sign, actually.
ReplyDeleteTo me a real mark of success is managing to change the sheets on the bed. Congrats!
ReplyDeleteI gave up sewing because I can't see well enough to thread the needle. It's good to see you writing. It always help me.
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ReplyDeleteKeep is all up and going forward.. Even if forward means walking across the room and smacking the door. It'll forgive you:) it understands, believe me I know.. later on walk by and say- sorry- the door will accept.
there is magic in the tiniest things, make all the magic you can and keep telling us about it. You need to write it and we need to read it.
Sonny
Now that my vision up close is much weaker, threading needles can be so frustrating. When my daughter is around when I'm trying to do it, I ask her to take over. It's a way to keep from throwing a chair through a window out of frustration :)
ReplyDeleteFeel well soon, Birdie! We're all rotting for you.
I'm going to make a box too. I may also shout. I agree it is a good sign. Sleep well. xx
ReplyDeleteYou're still kicking over and that's a very good thing:)
ReplyDeleteHang in there. You are doing everything right. My gram has been gone since 1981, and the sorrow I feel this time of year is no less. I have to ask myself, "How can I do like gram?" And then I try. But the holidays kill me because they remind me of how cruel my family is and how compassion is hard to come by. Bloggers get me through!
ReplyDeleteBirdie,
ReplyDeleteYour so sweet to leave that comment on my blog....I'm the younger sister. Lol
I cried today and stressed out for hours. I went at eight this morning to have my Mazdas oil changed and the tires rotated. Waited for a long time , paid 92.00 and drove the thirty five mile trip back home. Drove up in the drive way and smoke came out of the hood. When I popped it....they had left the oil cap off and it was everywhere. They came and towed my car back to the dealership and are checking it out. I am praying the engine isn't hurt.
Chin up...I'm telling you that and now going to look ithe mirror and tell myself.😁
Paint your nails a bright color. It's hard to be sad with orange nails.
ReplyDelete(I'm totally grasping)
Sending you happy thoughts.
It takes awhile, hang in! You're up, doing things, cross stitching. That's huge.
ReplyDeleteKeep doing all the right things! It will come together and help you--I know it has for me. But it can be a long haul and frustrating when you don't get instant results. Just don't give up! You're doing great!
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