My Outside Bed!

Well, today is better.  I did cancel the barbeque.  I was crying so hard I could barely breathe so I figured it would be best to just reschedule. After I got up I had something to eat then puttered around a bit then went back to bed and slept like the dead in my outside bed. 

Work was very stressful yesterday. One thing I learned in college is nurses are the only ones who eat there own young and oh boy, it this true.  Some of the women I work with make me wonder why they became nurses in the first place.  Mean and uncaring.  They outright admit that they are in it for the money.  It is too bad because others are there because they love what they do.  I bet everyone has at least one story about a nurse that was uncaring.  The saddest part is nurses who are mean to people who are in a vulnerable place.  

We got a new deep freeze today!  Yay!  I have wanted a deep freeze for so long. When I was pregnant with my son (he is 16) I was given a second-hand deep freeze. Being a nesting mama I quickly made dozens of meals and filled it up in anticipation for the time after my son was born.  The day I came home from the hospital I went to retrieve two meals and found everything rotting.  They second-hand freezer was broken.  To make matters worse, when I got rid of it, it leaked rusty water all over my carpet.  Well now I now have a brand new shiny freezer that has been given high consumer ratings.  (Don't you love that you can check things out before you buy them?)  Today I filled it with some stuff that I found on sale!  I have even named it. "The Yeti."

My dad came by today and I felt so sad for him when he talked about my mom.  He misses her so much. To told me that he can't seem to get the moment she died out of his head.  This whole thing makes me wonder why two people so in love have to be separated.  My dad is so young still, only 63 and he is a widower.  He adored my mom.  When she was diagnosed until the moment she died he was by her side loving her.  I remember him cutting up her food when she was too weak to do it herself.  He fed her when she could not bring a fork to her mouth.  He cleaned her up when she had diahrrea and could not make it to the bathroom.  We see what Hollywood's version of love is and we wait for that to come along when it is nothing more than fiction.  Real love does not have background music.  Real love is holding a bucket for someone who has vomited 45 days in a row.

There is no weigh in tonight as it is a long weekend here in B.C., Canada.  I am eating a big ass ice cream from Cold Stone Creamery right now.  meh.  It is so good though!