Tomorrow, my mom will have been gone 11 months. How can that be? There are no words to describe how hard it is or how much I miss her. Everyone says to give it at least a year and I am here to tell you that a year is not enough. All I can say is it is different. Quite honestly, my heart breaks a little more every day.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
I Have Nothing Interesting To Say
Tomorrow, my mom will have been gone 11 months. How can that be? There are no words to describe how hard it is or how much I miss her. Everyone says to give it at least a year and I am here to tell you that a year is not enough. All I can say is it is different. Quite honestly, my heart breaks a little more every day.
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There is no time frame for grief. We all handle it in different ways. My father has been gone for 5 1/2 years and I still miss him terribly. It is much, much easier now. So time helps very much. Give it time. You'll always miss your mom, but one day the grief won't be so intense.
ReplyDeleteWishing you heart's ease in time. Only you should determine how long that takes. Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteThere are not set times for grief... no one could tell you how long it will take except yourself... it is hard and we are here for you. Much love and light to you!
ReplyDeleteI think by putting a limit on anything it makes us anxious and when the time comes up on past we think there is something wrong with us when it frankly is NOT true!!! There is no time limit on grief THERE IS NOT!!! I genuinely care about what I see you going thru and I want you to know that my opinion is.....you need to give yourself a break ease up and just let yourself feel bad, grieve, hurt, and in YOUR time heal enough to where you can be at peace. PEACE will find you and there is HOPE for you to get thru this, your mom wants you to be happy and to enjoy life so think of her looking down and helping you get to peace. <3
ReplyDeleteGrief sucks. Grief puts her sharp bony fingers in our eyes and clutches our hearts and twists them. And she comes and she goes without a timetable. My father has been dead for over twenty years now, and sometimes the pain is as fresh as it was the day he died.
ReplyDeleteBe kind to yourself. And for someone who had nothing interesting to say, you have written a wonderful post which will interest many of us.
I'm so darn tired and yet can't sleep so I won't ramble on, but just get to the point. I'm glad you're feeling a bit better and pray that the struggling part diminishes.
ReplyDeleteOn your own time, Birdie. On your own time. Be well.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely picture and its surely a good thing to remember everything about that person particularly if its your darling mother. Grief takes all sorts of shapes and time.... even ten years after losing both my parents, it creeps up and overwhelms me in the most strange ways without me knowing when its going to happen.. time will ease, but a song or a thought will bring them back in a sec... and you know what?
ReplyDeleteI think its because they gave us so much love that we can think of them in all true love, and hang on to that cos a lot of people are not so lucky to know the love of parents... it is deep and everlasting, and her love is with you every day and in everything you do, she lives on in you.. love and hugs from across the pond..
I know you are so weary. I also know that there will be easing. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but there will be. I want you to know that.
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you birdie...we just have to hang in there until it gets just a little bit easier. I just read the new book Wild..hiking the Northwest Pacific Trail by Cheryl Strayed. If you can get it you might want to read it...she missed her mother so. Hoping at least that after the grief overcomes you that you can recover just a bit easier...that is how it is with me. The "anniversary" days are the hardest....I try to do some kind deed for someone on that day. But grief is so hard because we loved so much...
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you birdie...we just have to hang in there until it gets just a little bit easier. I just read the new book Wild..hiking the Northwest Pacific Trail by Cheryl Strayed. If you can get it you might want to read it...she missed her mother so. Hoping at least that after the grief overcomes you that you can recover just a bit easier...that is how it is with me. The "anniversary" days are the hardest....I try to do some kind deed for someone on that day. But grief is so hard because we loved so much...
ReplyDeleteMy husband has been gone for almost 6 years now and I am still grieving. It does get better as time passes.
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting my blog and leaving a comment. I will be your newest follower and I would love for you to follow me.
Beth
My dad died in 1999. I still miss him every single day. It's just that now I can bear it.
ReplyDeleteTake care.
Grieve in your own time. I'd like someone to show me the rule book that says it can only last so long and then it's done.
ReplyDeleteHowever, they do say, those things you keep in your mind are the things that will keep rattling around in there and get set in a groove so perhaps you need to change your focus in regard to your mother. Instead of grieving her loss, try remembering how wonderful she was, and focusing on your good memories because you have no idea how fortunate you are that you had such a wonderful close relationship to her that you could miss her this much.
In the last four years, I've lost my mom, my MIL, my FIL, and my best friends have lost their two husbands. And then my BIL passed away three weeks ago.
ReplyDeleteI'm starting to think it's me.
LOL I'm kidding. I'm just saying I know from loss. The first year IS the hardest, the milestone days. What I found that helped? Honoring them in special little ways, playing a favorite song, planting a favorite flower, cooking a favorite meal. Try to find comfort in the little things that remind you of your mom. She is in you. Always with you. She'd be sad that you're sad and would want you to live all your moments full blast.
When you're ready.
-rox
In the last four years, I've lost my mom, my MIL, my FIL, and my best friends have lost their two husbands. And then my BIL passed away three weeks ago.
ReplyDeleteI'm starting to think it's me.
LOL I'm kidding. I'm just saying I know from loss. The first year IS the hardest, the milestone days. What I found that helped? Honoring them in special little ways, playing a favorite song, planting a favorite flower, cooking a favorite meal. Try to find comfort in the little things that remind you of your mom. She is in you. Always with you. She'd be sad that you're sad and would want you to live all your moments full blast.
When you're ready.
-rox
I am so sorry that your grief is so persistent, but I guess the pain of loosing someone we love will never go away, we just learn to live with it...
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your recent visit and sorry that I am taking my time to return it, but I do appreciate your kind words.
xoxo
Each day - just getting though each day is enough for now. And no time limits or certainties. Some days, especially anniversaries you are bound to feel lost. It is something that never leaves us. Whoever it was up there that said this is correct - finding some special way of marking the day might help dear Birdie. I really believe that it will bring some tiny comfort and a feeling of being close to her again. Oh how I wish some comfort for you. My heart hurts for us all who have lost loved ones and are lost without them. xxx
ReplyDeleteI often find myself with nothing to say. It used to bother me, but no longer does. Too many people say so much and yet, don't say much of anything at all. Silence is good. It makes us think. Even though thinking often hurts, it's a good thing to do. It clears away the cobwebs and makes like easier to bear. Have nothing to say for as long as it takes. It's okay.
ReplyDeletexoxoxxx
xxx my love is with you xxx
ReplyDeleteLet me be your virtual warm hug. I am thinking of you and hoping you get through this sooner than you think.
ReplyDeleteThe clouds will part!