Ms Moon, lovely Ms. Moon told me this would be a holy time and she is right. I feel very connected to the Universe and God right now. I meet people who have gone through loss and I feel connected to them. I feel connected to all of you. It is strange to feel so much love from people I have never met. It is this love and connection that gets me up out of bed everyday even though I have to have a nap.
Anyway, it has taken me over an hour to write this post. I am spent. My sweetie is making me a grilled cheese sandwich and fries and gravy. Comfort food, god bless his heart.
Ungrateful Bastard is still sick. He freaks out, hisses and tries to bit me when I pick him up. He stayed in his basket almost all day today. I wonder if he fell or was attacked by a dog. he is eating and drinking but he is in the baddest mood I have ever seen him in. Good grief. I can't beleive I wrote "the baddest mood I have ever seen him in". Baddest is not a word and don't believe in ending a sentence in a preposition. Ah. Who the hell cares any more.
PS- I forgot to do the pee draw at 6:00 on Monday. I did remember at 6:00 but on Wednesday. Judy C. is the winner of a yet undisclosed prize. I promise, no tea! I do have a great card picked out.
i say cry... cry til you're done...
ReplyDeletei know in your logical brain you don't want to be crying anymore but that doesn't matter
let the tears flow... it's all apart of the healing process..
your dinner sounds absolutely perfect...much to be said for comfort food
Yes- exactly- you DO have a connection with the Mystery because isn't that it? The great Mystery and all of those who have seen its shadow in their own lives.
ReplyDeleteIt is THAT which sustains us in these times, I think. That knowledge that this is not all there is to it. The overwhelming compassion which you are able to feel.
I am loving you. And you will cry until you don't. But then you will still cry sometimes. And it's all okay.
I agree with Sherri, cry all that you need to. I still miss my Mom 6 years later...I know I will always miss her (I have tears in my eye as I write this) but the pain has eased. It is the grieving process
ReplyDeleteI can relate to your feelings about feeling close to God and the universe. Let the tears run. It would be hard to hold them back.
ReplyDeleteI second the sentiments from all your friends here.
ReplyDeleteAllow yourself to release the tears. I still cry when missing my parents all these years later.
Congrats to Judy C. for whatever her prize is.
Have a nice day. ~Mary
Grief is a place we use to hear about and never knowing how we would walk through it's portal. When the unthinkable happens and grief hits it is so personal, so unique, that not one other person walks it the same way or on the same timeline.
ReplyDeleteWhen our Papa passed away, even now, 12 years later, I can see the back of a stranger and think that he looks like him...it will bring up a surge of emotion. I can smell his after shave lotion and be brought to comfort and sadness all at the same time.
The place you are in is so hard...I send you hugs of comfort, and cry with you...take care, take care.
I hope not to sound arrogant, linking to my blogs--but these are not things about grief that I, myself, have written. They are from other writers I am quoting.
ReplyDeletehttp://leavingdivorceville.blogspot.com/2011/02/why-i-write-about-my-divorce.html
http://deniseemanuelclemen.blogspot.com/2008/11/best-advice-ive-ever-read-about-grief.html
Thinking of you.
It is all unfolding as it should. grief is a journey, not a destination. Hugs.xx♥
ReplyDeleteI am just getting up to speed here. I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. Such a hard thing. I think you will cry for a long time, suddenly and maybe seemingly for no reason, but how could it not be so when you love her so. She is with you still. I do believe that. You are enfolded in her love and always will be. It's okay to cry when you need to.
ReplyDelete