I spent the day with my mom but she slept all day. I wanted to give my dad a chance to go out and get some air. The morning was speaking with Palliative nursing care and making decisions. We have decided that my mom will stay at home but will go into the hospital to die. There she can receive 24 hour care that we can't give to her. She will also be more comfortable. I also spoke with Hospice this afternoon. More decisions. Though my mom knows she is dying she is in a lot of denial but the last 2 days she has been coherent enough to know she is getting worse and she asked me outright today is she was dying. I had to call Hospice and ask how exactly you tell someone she is dying.
I spent the day filling out insurance forms, checking her e mails and talking to my dad. My dad and I made the decision to take her off the antibiotics the doctor prescribed because they are only causing vomiting at this point and not even getting digested. So, what good is even trying?
I am so tired tonight and I need to sleep. Thank you for all your comments. They help. They do.
After you read this post go tell at least one person that you love them
Namaste
Oh Birdie, this is heart breaking for you. It's so hard to allow your mum to come to this at her own pace when you want to be able to talk to her about it. She is writing her own story in her own way, God give you all the grace to allow her to do that.
ReplyDeleteMany hugs deb xx
oh Barbara... I feel with you... my heart is hurting for you... I am so sorry... I do not know what to say to ease your pain except ... knwo that you are loved... know that there are many who are thinking of and praying for you and your family...
ReplyDeleteBirdie, remember that you are doing the right thing, the best you can. Life hurts sometimes. Then eventually the sun comes up.
ReplyDeleteSending my son and partner a text to tell them right now. I hope you got some sleep.
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for you Birdie. What you are experiencing is so painful. We learn so many things from our parents in our lives, but the most important is how to love. The lesson isn't always easy. You are feeling the depth of that now, and know that your posts here, even amidst your pain, are bringing a stronger presence of love in the world, for yourself, and through yourself as a reminder to us that it is the most important thing we have.
ReplyDeleteI'm keeping you and yours in my very best thoughts. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteOh Birdie, you poor darling girl. My heart is so sad for you. Sending you all the love and comfort your heart can hold. I'm so sorry to hear about your pain - it's something that really scares me too. Through it all, know that there are people out here who care that it hurts. Take care of you, love Heather x
ReplyDeleteOk, here it goes: I love you, Birdie:)
ReplyDelete((((hugs)))))
ReplyDelete