So, not much has changed. My mom asks every time she wakes up if she is dying. She is forgetting. My dad was telling her that yes you are but I love you and I am going to be with you every moment. She would cry and my dad would comfort her. But now it just seems cruel to tell her over and over.
I went to Reiki yesterday. I seriously wish I could go everyday because it is the only time where I feel at peace.
OK, something funny. My daughter currently plays the flute. I rent her instrument as buying it outright is quite expensive and she was talking about giving it up. Anyway, I had not paid the bill and it is past due. I got a bill today and it said, "Dear Bad Parent"! Or at least that is what I thought it said. It actually said, "Dear Band Parent". I think my guilt speaks in curious ways.
LOL.... that last story cracked me up... glad to hear that despite all the sorrow you are currently feeling, you have never let go of your sense of humor. Bless you!
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way about Blogger when it went down.. felt nervous too but Hilary helped calm me down with her reassuring email.
I was wondering what happened with all of the Blogger blogs yesterday. And on Friday the 13th! Granted I'm not superstitious, but still.
ReplyDeleteI do that too sometimes reading something the wrong way or thinking I heard something else then what was sad. Especially when it come to the kiddos and parent guilt. We all have it don't we.
That is a bittersweet story about your parents. My folks are getting older, and I can feel this one.
ReplyDeleteI am a Bad Parent, too. I insist on clarinet practice....
Thanks for sharing those beautiful moments btw your mom and dad....and even in the midst of sadness, a little humour is allowed to enter our lives....what a rollercoaster we are on......prayers are with you
ReplyDeleteA sense of humour is a wonderful cushion from stress. I'm glad to see you're hanging onto yours.
ReplyDeleteFound you at Wabi Sabi. I am fascinated by the fact that you're a Quaker. What a wonderful community that seems to me to be. Enjoyed this post very much. Funny if the world really dealt with us that bluntly. I know a lot of people I'd have sent those to as a teacher and fellow parent. And I'm certain I'd have gotten a load myself. I played the flute and so did both my girls. My folks bought me a used flute - and 46 years later, I've still got it. It's hard, though, to do flute if you're alone - unless you love that sound, and can't get enough of making it. Do you home school?
ReplyDeleteIn the end, I decided my last child would do choir - no sports events to have to travel to with the band. And a voice is something you can carry with you forever. Voice and piano - a good foundation. that said, my first daughter became a jazz sax player and toured the world twice with it. Doesn't play a stick now that she has kids, though.