Thursday, May 05, 2011

65

Well, as of today my mom made it to 65.  Well whoopdefuckingdingdong (not a word according to the spell check.) She spent this milestone in palliative care eating a diabetic meal that she hated and didn't finish.  And she joked with a sadness that she wouldn't be here for 66.  Don't misunderstand. Please don't.  Every day she is here is a good day.  But it is coming to the point where the line between living a life that has quality is clouded by a crappy life where you don't know if the fight is worth it any more.  
Ironically, I ran into one of my life-long friends while on the palliative ward. Her father-in law has cancer.  She already lost her dad 4 years ago this month to the monster. 
I hate cancer.  I hate it. It takes.  It is evil.  It is insidious and sneaky.  It gives you hope then rips it from your grasp.  And I see the amount of money going to stupid shit like making movies and fighting wars that can't be won.  I see money being thrown at the feet of hockey players and football stars.  And people keep dying... 


(My apologies for my morose writing tonight.  I actually feel OK in a way.  I went to Reiki today.  I am just tired.)

5 comments :

  1. OK Birdie... do not worry about posting such entries... it is YOUR blog afterall and if you annto vent on it then where will you... I jsut vented a whole lot on mine and my situation is not as difficult or serious as yours... My heart goes out to you and your whole family but most of all your mom... from the picture I can tell she is a lovely mom... Just remember you have so many people praying for you because you have touched their lives.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 05, 2011

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm sorry that your mom is dying but thankful she is in palliative care. I don't think there is an easy way to say goodbye to your mother. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Birdie.
    I love your new word. Mike reckons if we're quick we might just manage to steal it and use it ourselves at some point in the future.

    Having read a few of your posts (I'll get through them all eventually) I can tell you are my sort of girl.

    Lorna

    ReplyDelete
  4. Happy Birthday Birdie's Mom, sorry you aren't feeling well.Sending love.♥

    ReplyDelete
  5. Birdie. I am so sorry you have such losses. I could give you chapter and verse about mine for there are a bunch. But I won't. I will say that having lost everyone I ever loved but my children, I am both stronger and more appreciative now than ever before. I'll soon be 66, and I'm happy to make it that far. Love to you and your mom.

    ReplyDelete

Come Let Us Reason Together...
Isaiah 1:18