One thing I never knew about grief is how much it can effect (or is it affect?) you physically. I am so tired but when I sleep I shake and can't stop. (I have to take Ativan before sleep.) My joints ache. My eyes sting. I can't relax and so my muscles ache. I am cold all the time so I wear a toque around the house. My stomach is in a knot all the time.
I do have some good news. Remember last week I said I was hoping something really good was going to come from something I did the previous week but I didn't want to say what it is yet because I am superstitious and didn't want to jinx it? Well, that good thing happened! I applied to do home support in a union job and I got it! My wage will be going up $4.00 and hour. I will be able to quit my current job for an employer that has not given me a wage increase in 2 years. (I sent my 2-week notice tonight.) It will take awhile to get a permanent position but this is going to make a big difference in my life and the life of my family. When I get a permanent position I will even get benefits. Yay! I am especially thankful right now because I will have seven days of paid training and now I will be able to afford Christmas presents for my kids. I will be able to afford to buy food. Yay!
So, now I am off to bed. Who was I kidding? I can't not blog. I love you all so much. Thanks for the encouragement. Thanks for loving me. xo
And what was the good thing? Do share.
ReplyDeleteAs for tears...let them flow, cleanse and fill up with hugs.
Super on the raise!!!!!
ReplyDeleteTerrific on the raise!
ReplyDeleteNot sure if this is a possibility for you -- but have you ever tried Chinese medicine and acupuncture?
For every door that closes, as they say, another window opens. Good news can temper the sadness.
ReplyDeleteI could say a lot of things about hard times and grief, but I'm not gonna do any of that. I think you need a hug, {{ hug }}, and I think that you need someone to tell you that you are doing fine. No, seriously, you're doing fine even if you don't feel like you're fine. Congrats on the new job. : )
ReplyDeleteEven in the midst of your grief, you are figuring out how to make your life and the life of your family better.
ReplyDeleteThat is amazing.
I am SO proud of you.
Glad to hear it.. congrats to you.
ReplyDeleteBirdie, you have to blog and share, because if you keep it all to you it becomes to heavy to hold. So, let us have a bit of your ups and downs and everything will become lighter.
ReplyDeleteAtivan? Are you on drugs? (lol) go and run until you feel your lungs will explode and I promise you'll feel much better than using that.
Great news for you - congratulations on your new job, raise, training and all it may bring with it for the future. Great news for us too - you are going to be blogging. Sending some hugs too.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that good thing happened! Yay for YOU!! Even though you're dealing with much sadness you are allowing positive things to come your way and that will help with your healing.
ReplyDeleteWOHOOOO... you deserve everything good to come your way... awesome news... congratulations...
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the raise!
ReplyDeleteGrief is so physical. I think one has to treat it the way one would an illness. More sleep. Healthier food. Gentle loving care.
Congrats on the new job. Your former employer is going to miss you. Keep putting one foot in front of the other - it does get better.
ReplyDeleteHi Birdie .. so pleased the job came through and perhaps things are looking up - some of the stress has gone. Grief is another thing .. it will pass - it's as Denise says .. gentle loving care ..
ReplyDeleteAll the very best - Hilary
Wonderful news! Congratultions!
ReplyDeleteYou so deserve this. Maybe your angel mom is still looking after you. ♥
Grief, what's to say about it. Sometimes reading helps - sometimes we're too angry & tired to want to hear any more about it.
In real reality (?) we just keep moving through it one moment, hour, day at a time and allow ourselves to be gentled.
Hooray for new job! Blessings!
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