Saturday, November 05, 2011

http://ihadablackdog.blogspot.com/
I had a terrible sleep last night.  Terrible sleeps always seem to open the gate so the Black Dog can get it in my house.  I started thinking how close Christmas is which started me thinking about decorating the tree at my mom and dad's house.  Decorating the tree is almost bigger than Christmas.  Sometimes we all can't be together on Christmas day but we are always together to decorate the tree.  We have never missed a year, not once.  Ohhh, this year is going to be so hard.  I don't know if I even want to do it this year.  At this point I want to just scrap it but I know it is important to my kids and nieces.  Anyway, all this thinking just made me so sad and then I started crying. Then I got tired and just wanted to go home.  We were out and I needed to get away from the noises, loud in my head.  I am home now and I had a nap but I am still tired and weary and sad.  And a little depressed today. 
Get this.  You are all aware that Norbert has been wearing the Cone of Shame.  Does it seem weird to you that all of a sudden he is spending a great deal of time sitting on the table with a lamp.  He sits really close and stares at it.  I think he is in love. 

5 comments :

  1. CatNovember 06, 2011

    Bahahahaha poor Norbert xxx
    And awwwwww I had a recurring nightmare the other night and woke up in a huge panic so I understand about lack of sleep allowing the black dog in ;;''((
    HUGS and take care of you xxx

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  2. janNovember 06, 2011

    Funny old Norbert! Love's old sweet song!

    Sounds like it is going to be, understandably, a difficult Christmas this year Birdie. All of those family traditions are going to feel hollow without your precious Mum there to share them. Very raw indeed. Lack of sleep doesn't help at all either does it? Cat is right, must take care of you especially well right now.

    As you say, having children around, will help you to keep going. Seeing your Mum in each and every one of them and helping to give them good memories of family times. Remembering their Grandmother too - sharing stories and tears and maybe marking her presence still in some special way while you decorate the tree together. Bitter-sweet.

    Sending much love and strength to you Birdie. xx

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  3. erinNovember 06, 2011

    ((a full chest of love at this, your sadness and norbert's strange being, and too, your sense of humour))

    xo
    erin

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  4. Ms. MoonNovember 06, 2011

    Yes. This holiday is going to be very, very hard for you.
    Is there anyway the family could completely change things up?

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  5. Deb Robertson WritesNovember 06, 2011

    haha so funny about the cat. Perhaps he is feeling sorry for the lamp, kindred spirits and all. I think you should do something different otherwise it will be PAINFUL. what about decorating gingerbread houses?? or I dunno paint the windows, just do something festive but different. Start a new tradition.

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