I have not been posting. Too tired and nothing to say anyway. So here is a point by point synopsis of my week.
- Today is my daughter's birthday. She is 14. She is kind, generous, tall, beautiful, smart and caring. I am so proud of her!
- My dad found out this week that his dog has cancer in his rectum. There is no treatment or cure. Eddie the dog is a 13 year old, wonderful and loving chocolate Lab. I understand that he is an old dog but now? Why now? Now my dad is facing that he will have to put Eddie down. Eddie was in the room in palliative care when my mom died.
- My breasts hurt. Achy, PMS breasts with a hint of menopause thrown in for good measure. My nana went into menopause at 32 so don't tell me I am too young. I am having a mammogram next week. I have been having them for 9 years as breast cancer is in my family.
- I hate almost every book ever written on grief. A throw across the room hate.
- Right now I am telling my kids to go to bed but they are ignoring me but I am too tired to do anything about it.
- I am hoping that something really good is going to come from something I did last week. I can't say what it is yet because I admit I am superstitious and don't want to jinx it.
- I learned a cool new position at yoga yesterday but I have forgotten how to do it because I am so tired.
- My daughter has finally gone to bed but my son is still ignoring me.
- I am going to go have a hot bath and a cup of tea. Good night, world.
Good Night Barbara... I so hope that tomorrow will be a better day... the sun will continue to rise... my thoughts are with you...
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to your daughter... I hope she knows that she has a gem of a mother.
Happy Birthday to your daughter -- and happy birth day to you. Thank you for your kind comments on my blog, for your love and support. I truly appreciate them and am grateful for these here internets.
ReplyDeleteI hate almost every book ever written on grief. A throw across the room hate.
ReplyDeletebirdie, then find one on joy that rubs at least some of your moments to a shine.
it is hard sometimes, isn't it, just to do those things we have to do in a day. it is so damned hard sometimes. thank god for tomorrows.)))
14. holy holy.))
xo
erin
And life as we know it, goes on, even as we do not quite know why.
ReplyDeleteBless you, baby. Breathe. That is most of the yoga you need.
Happy birthday to your daughter!
ReplyDeleteI hope your daughter had a great birthday and that you had a quite nite. Sometimes, like myself, we get in a rut with our life, our family, our blogs. Don't give up, just come back when the inspiration hits!
ReplyDeleteI hope you stick with yoga. It takes time to learn the poses let alone get into them for 3 - 5 minutes long but when you do it feels so good! I just know that doing yoga helped my head as well....peace when I let go and breathe
ReplyDeleteYour kids would listen if you purchased a taser or a pair of shock-collars:)I'm so sorry I don't have any solutions for the rest of what life is throwing at you. A hug, maybe?
ReplyDeleteHope you're feeling refreshed and relaxed and can remember that cool new yoga pose.
ReplyDeleteDoes your son have any cat genes? They're experts at ignoring.
Happy birthday to your daughter!
And, oh dear, I'm now suffering a crisis of confidence...I've been quiet on the 'net (and will get quieter still) as I'm in the throes of(finally!)starting novel #2... it's about grief. I'll do my best to keep it away from you! :)
Judy, South Africa
PS I'm sorry about your Dad's dog Edie. Maybe his cancer is that, as our brave, loving, angels-covered-in-fur pets do, he took on some of your Mom's pain to help her through the bad days and now he wants to be with her once more.
ReplyDeleteJudy, South Africa
PMS is a real bummer. I may be the only female in the world to welcome Menapause.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to your daughter. It sounds like you gve her many good gifts for her to be all that she is.
So so sorry to hear about Edie. Our Sophie is 14 and I know that moment will come s o m e d a y. Can't bear to think on that.
It is very healthy to ignore you kids sometimes. You'd be surprised at how well it works (for us!).
Hot baths are the best.
Have I told you that I LOVE your new blog look? I do.