Wednesdays are such busy days and by the end of the day I am ready for bed. I have Al Anon at 12:30 then counseling at 2:00 then a support group at 7:00. There is no way anyone can say I am not trying really hard to be well.
Today I bought a new watch. So exciting! The reason I bought it is because I spend most of my day not being in the moment. I get so carried away with everything so at times I have no awareness to how I am feeling. The watch beeps at the top of the hour as a reminder to check in with myself. How am I feeling? Anxious? Tense? Happy? Sad? Angry? Tired? Lonely? Joyful? So often I just go about my day and have no idea how I feel. The problem with that is it can lead to depression and not even knowing when or how I got there.
Yesterday Joe mentioned that he thought I was losing weight. I was losing weight when I was on Wellbutrin. It caused me so much anxiety I was sick to my stomach all the time. Now I am on Zoloft and have an appetite but I am trying to watch what I eat but I am still not losing and have almost no energy to carry out the tasks of daily living. Even though I get the basics done I still struggle with the extras like going out with friends or for a walk. I am simply too tired. You have no idea how much I want this new medication to work. Having an thyroid that does not work is a lot of problem, especially for woman.
The restoration company was here today and they are 99% done. All they have to do now is take away some of the old stuff that was damaged during the flood. It looks very nice downstairs now. It only took 5 weeks! (sarcasm)
This week they have a 40% off deal at Ancestry.com so I bit the bullet and bought a year membership to Ancestry World. If you want to look further into your tree this is an excellent time to do it because a yearly membership is usually $300.00 Cdn. Check it out but do it soon because it the sale ends on the 28th. I had previously had a membership but it was only for Ancestry Canada so I am really looking forward to digging into the records of England, Germany, Austria and Ireland.
My thyroid is underactive - and medication goes some way to help. Mind you MS also makes a person tired so I didn't realise there was an additional problem until a blood test showed it up. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteFatigue is sucky. And shouldn't be added to your other sucky issues. From the side lines it sounds to me as if you are doing an amazing job - and have improved a lot recently. Which is wonderful.
I think if i went to Al-anon, counseling and a support group all in one day, i would definitely need a drink. And i'm not even a drinker!
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking yesterday how grateful I am that there are activities that get me out of the house. If there were not, I would not leave this place for anything and would either curl up in bed all day or in front of the TV or computer.
ReplyDeleteAre you on medication for your non functioning thyroid?
ReplyDeleteHere's to hoping your thyroid medication helps you. That could really make a difference.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your day....
ReplyDeleteWarming up here tomorrow...
Did the flower lady arrive yet?
Cheers!
Linda :o)
You bet you're trying really hard to be well. I really admire you for that. It's a tough road to walk on, and yet you keep on keeping on. You're amazing, and you should be very proud of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Martha.
DeleteI got the Ancestry world records for a few months and it's amazing! It really opens up the branches. I should sign back up, now that there's a sale!
ReplyDeleteI wonder how the thyroid, the hormones and the depression look under a microscope. I bet it's a perfect storm of emotions. Hugs to you.
(The watch thing? Super cool idea!)
It's strange, I don't have any problem with depression but I understand what you said about the importance of having a beep to remind oneself to check how we are feeling.
ReplyDeleteWe seem to be always running on things but never stopping long enough to appreciate the present, thanks for the reminder Birdie! Hugs
Isn't one of the side effect of Zoloft tiredness?
ReplyDeleteHi Birdie,
ReplyDeleteVery interesting. I do know that maintaining positive resources are vital to the improvement of our mental health well being. Although, I try to moderate my resources. Ironically, I found the more I got involved with some resources, the more they reminded me, the more they reinforced my issues. One has to know what's truly best for them.
I have chronic fatigue syndrome. Of course, a common factor in depression. Yet, as you do, we somehow muster up the strength to verbalise our valid thoughts.
You have many friends out here in blogland. You have my respect and admiration.
Gary :)
Hey that is a good idea with the watch...I have refused to wear them for years because I used to be glued to one all the time.
ReplyDeleteHang in!