My dad is part native. (He is 1/8 but looks 1/2 or full depending on the time of the year. In summer his skin goes very dark.) Natives in these parts sort of have a reputation for keeping yards that look like hell. No need to go to the garbage dump, just toss your shit in the front yard! Have an old couch? Put it in the driveway. Old cars? Create a parking lot! At any given time there are 5 vehicles in his yard that are in various states of disrepair. There is an old wood stove. When anyone needs a place to keep their crap my dad will "store" it for them. My mom died 2 1/2 years ago so there has been no bi-annual conipshit. My dad seems blind to the chaos as does my brother. My brother happened to be at my dad's house yesterday and I brought it up and he either didn't hear me or thought I was overreacting. I should have taken a picture to see if you all think I am overreacting but I know I'm not. I am wondering if I should take my mother's "nagnitude" (my new invented word) and say something to my dad.
All that said, my (step) dad is the kindest and most amazing man I know, He may be messy but when he gets to heaven his reward is going huge yard and it is going to be full of crap.
Oh man, hoarders are everywhere it seems! I wonder if it comes from having nothing in youth? I feel sorry for the kids after I die because left unchecked, Derwood will have ever cupboard and closet filled with things he found on sale.
ReplyDeleteCan I send you my cat? He is literally going insane because it was warm for a few days and now we are back in the deep freeze and he is inconsolable, he's making me crazy.
My father was a pack rat too. We always said that if you wanted anything he would have it - or the pieces to make one.
ReplyDeleteClearing up after he died was a marathon, and heart breaking task.
I would be tempted to leave him be - missing your mother, it might feel as if his treasures are all he has left. But that is just me.
Hoarders, tend not to recognize they're hoarding until it gets really bad. Then its like an insurmountable obstacle.
ReplyDeleteCould be that he's in a rut? or feeling down? If so, the clutter makes it worse
That's scary. I hope you don't have to clean it all up one day!
ReplyDeleteAs long as it's not a danger to him or others it's not really your problem you know. It's his way and he should really be able to live how he likes.
ReplyDeleteI hate to burst your bubble, but it has nothing to do with ethnicity. My spouse was 95% European and he was a collector of "commodities". We never dared call it junk. The bad thing is, I am a bit of a collector also. Regardless we have made plenty of money off the stuff piled around our various yards and eventually auctions that clear the places out for a while. If you have to clean it all up one day as Riot Kitty warns, it will be simple. Light a torch. And as MorningAJ says, It's his way and he should really be able to live how how he likes. What Ron enjoyed most was hearing someone say they needed something and he could disappear for a minute and return with just what they needed. He would simply give it to them with great pleasure.
ReplyDeleteThat's a hard one. Is the kindest thing to let it go or to help him get it under control? I do not know.
ReplyDeleteMy ex-husband was a hoarder as well. My kids say his apartment is filled with crap. Your dad's not going to change.
ReplyDeleteI tried to leave a comment on your last post but my internet connection keeps crapping out on me. Thanks Telus. My dad was born and grew up near Ladysmith. He went to North Oyster school on Cedar Road. Small world.
Meh, I say let him be. He's such a good man that this quirk can be easily overlooked. My father-in-law is like that. He lives in a small 3 1/2 room apartment and his place looks like it has more stuff in it than my entire house. He's...cough...'frugal'...and isn't able to part with anything, so stuff piles up. But he's a sweet and wonderful man, and if this is the worst thing about him, that's okay.
ReplyDeleteI say keep your own side of the street clean and let him worry about his side. :o)
ReplyDeleteHe may not even notice, since nobody has pointed it out to him. You might offer (one time), "Hey, can I help you straighten things up around here?" Then let it go. If he's ready, he'll do something.
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