It is just after 2:00 a.m. and I am at work. This post is
being done on a Word document and will be cut and pasted into a blog post in
the morning because I do not have Internet access. The home I am in tonight is in an apartment building
and in all the time I have been doing this job I have never felt this unnerved.
The patient I am caring for is not a problem at all but the building is in a
bad part of town and the neighbours have their music up so loud the walls are
shaking. (Fortunately, the person I am caring for is hard of hearing and
sleeping soundly.) The tenants are out in the halls yelling, screaming and
fighting. One of the other occupants of the building banged on the door at
about 1:00 and it was quieter for about 20 minutes and now it is loud again.
Who lives this way? I have no doubt this is a drug house. There is no way I am
stepping foot outside the apartment. I am a little nervous. My nerves are
frayed from all the noise and fighting. I tried meditating but I just could not
relax so I put on some relaxation music and that is helping.
So yes, I went back to work this week. After 4 months off
because of depression I am back and actually feeling quite good! I was looking
forward to being back doing what I do best. I love my job! For those who are
new to my blog I do palliative care (people who are actively dying) in the
community for people who want to die at home. I also do respite care, which is
what I am doing tonight for people who are awaiting placement into a long term care facility.
For instance the person I am caring for tonight is an elopement risk, meaning
she will wander off and does not have cognition to time and place. It is nice
to be back even though I am in a stressful environment. I have to add that the new thyroid medication
I am on has already made a huge difference! My mind is cleared of its fog and I
am feeling more energy. I am now on 2 different thyroid medications and so
grateful for them.
This week I have come to the conclusion that I have to give
up coffee. I have never been a huge big coffee drinker but when I want a cup I
want a cup! Caffeine give me heart palpitations and hot flashes now and it
takes hours to feel normal again. It was so bad the other day I had to take an
Ativan to calm down. It does appear that I can go with decaf so I can still
have my coffee but…well …its decaf! Harrumphf
And you know what? The music just turned off! Oh, blessed
peace and quiet. Crossing my fingers that it will stay this way. There is still
shouting but that BOOM BOOM BOOM has
stopped.
Addendum – I spoke too soon. The music has started up again.
I should not have been so silly to think that they would have stopped and gone
to bed when it is only 2:30.
Added Addendum - The music went on until 4:00. My neck and back are sore from the tension. Time for bed.
Well- what a grand re-entry! But gosh, golly- I am SO glad your thyroid meds are working for you! It's just a big old salad of stuff that affects us, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI am thrilled that your thyroid medication is helping.
ReplyDeleteAnd, that you are back at the work you love - and excel at.
Take care - and sleep well.
Are you able to wear ear plugs? Or is that out because you have to listen for the patient. Around here, the cops get called and make people shut down music that loud and at that hour.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy your thyroid meds are helping. It makes me feel better.
ReplyDeletecrazy people playing blasting music till all hours.. grrrrr
ReplyDeleteglad to hear you are back doing what you love and that the thyroid meds are working for you..
doin ok here except for a bronchial infection. trying to get someone to tell me i I can take ampicillian and paxil at the same time... shouldnt be a conflict, right?
So glad that you are back at work...
ReplyDeleteSo sad you had that hideous experience....
CREEPY!
Cheers!
Linda:o)
I most certainly do not miss apartment living. Though it WAS fun to spy on people through the peephole. Actually, it was just a metal tube through the door, because the lens parts were missing, so I had to be careful and jump back and replace the masking tape if they started to turn toward my door.
ReplyDeleteWow, you are back at work. That's awesome! And your medication is working, it must feel great to have more energy and be ready to be back. Sounds like you are straight back into things, no gradual return? This situation sounds very challenging and not what I imagined the location of your patients might be, you have spoken about a building before that has a weird feeling kind of corridor/stairway if I remember rightly. Things do seem more fragile and threatening at night anyway, noises louder and silences full of something that seems to be waiting to pounce! I'm probably not helping ;) I don't think I'd like to work alone at night Birdie. I know you love your work however so that love takes away some of the anxieties I would think. You need to make sure you are really looking after yourself(like what I don't ) to stay strong and well. Earphones sound s good idea but would you be able to hear your patient? Keep on with the meditation and breathing, they say it's all about practice. Me too with the palpitations, pizza gives me these lately it seems, amongst other foods and caffeine yes but I love my proper coffee so at the moment I am continuing to drink it. I will change to decaf soon if it gets really bad. Take care of you. Good to visit you today. Xx
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe you go back to work after four months and this is where you start! Talk about a test of nerves.
ReplyDeleteYou have such a rewarding job! Despite being in a stressful and scary part of town, you are still focused on your patient. You have a huge heart, Birdie!
ReplyDeleteI was getting heart palpitations, too, with too much caffeine. My doctor advised me to drink only two cups per day, preferably in the morning. I took her advice and it has made a huge difference. I bought some decaffeinated coffee if I feel like having a cup later on in the day. I thought I wouldn't like it, but I do. It's actually not that bad.
For a few years when I was in chronic anxiety land, coffee made my heart race, do I switched to half caff. It helped. I now drink bold Italian coffee sometimes and get no racing heart, so it's all good. I only have two, maybe three cups per day though, then I switch to hot water like an old lady.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy that you are back at work! That is a great indication of how much progress you've made! Yay!!
I'd have called the cops.
Oh I am so glad you are back to work. I receive far more than I give at work. I too love what we do.
ReplyDeleteAnd so happy to hear about the thyroid medication. So glad you are feeling better. :o)
Oh I'm so glad to hear that you're well enough to return to work, Birdie. It thrills me to know that things are looking up. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a horrible place to be. It never ceases to amaze me how little we are remoed from being animals. If I had the money to move, I'd be moving right now. You're very brave and I'm impressed you're looking after people who are dying. It sounds pretty downbeat but I hope you find it rewarding. I don't hear many people thee days saying the love their job.
ReplyDeleteTake good care
Blue
God that sounds awful! On a better note - welcome back to work, and these people are so lucky to have you!
ReplyDeleteI can't do caffeine either. It ups the anxiety sky high.
I Love people like you who take care of the sick ones who want to die at home....that was my dad last year, he died at home peacefully. Sad about the loud music, I feel for the kids who have to live in houses like that.
ReplyDeleteHi Birdie,
ReplyDeleteYour job is a noble, caring one. That incessant noise you were subjected to when you were looking after that person is a reminder of just how insensitive others can be with their stressful noise pollution.
Despite your anxiety, you challenged your feelings and returned to work. I know how much courage that takes. I'm proud to know you, dear human friend.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!