Today I need to get to an Al Anon meeting but the only one is tonight at 7:30 and I am so tired I don't trust myself to drive. Anxiety today was high. I feel so trapped. Yes, trapped. The panic an animal might feel when she is locked in a cage. Panic, terror, sadness. I have not been eating much and barely ate 1/4 of my dinner. Since the beginning of December I have lost 20 pounds. God knows, I can stand to lose about 50 but this is not the way to go about it. Honestly, I don't even feel happy about losing the weight. I don't know. This too shall pass. But when? 

Today was so busy and yet I did not go anywhere. I am going to be going back to work and to do that, as I have mentioned, have to sit in front of a board and tell them why I feel like I should be going back. My nurse leader is a nice enough lady but it is like talking to a fucking robot. She just asks clinical questions but doesn't really listen to the answers unless they are either answered in black or white. At this point I think that it is actually not time to go back. Maybe I will feel differently after I am back. Maybe it will be good for me. 

Everyone in our house is fighting a cold. I am taking Cold Fx. It does work but I think this is a particularly nasty bug. 

I forgot to mention that it snowed here a couple days ago. There was no snow in the forecast so it was a surprise to see it falling from the sky. It is supposed to get down to well below freezing tonight. Can`t really complain though. It was a nice sunny day. 

And that is it for now.

Wait, no it's not. One last gripe. If I have to create on more online account and remember one more password I am going to have a melt down. It is all too much! 

And is it just me or are the word verifications getting more and more difficult to decipher? There are so many times when I just give up trying to leave a comment because it should not take 4 tries to leave a comment.