Even though I am Canadian I don't see snow all that often, maybe for about a week in total. It usually snows then rains and the snow disappears. Today it is snowing but it is supposed to turn to rain overnight. So I will grace you with a picture before it is gone. If you have been reading this blog for awhile you know that my cat, Norbert (aka The Ungrateful Bastard) is not allowed outside because he is a murderer of small living things. He brings home dead mice and birds. When he brought home a hummingbird it was the last straw but he still thinks of himself as an indoor/outdoor cat. It is fun for me when it snows because I open the door and allow him to go out but he refuses. (Did I mention he is a wimp?) My hope is that he will eventually think the outside world is a terrible place to be and he will stop making a break for it every time a door opens.
There is however, still the problem with The Outside Norbert. Remember this post?
The Ungrateful Bastard has somehow managed to clone himself in some diabolical satanic ritual. How do I know? Because my husband and I went out for breakfast this morning and when we came home and Norbert was outside. I am all, "What the fuck is Norbert doing outside? He is not allowed outside? How did he get out?" My husband told me it was not Norbert but it was. We drove up close and this cat looked exactly like him. He even had a huge gut and slunk around like a sneaky sonofabitch. Just like Norbert. It was Norbert. I have no doubt. Except it wasn't because when I opened the door Norbert was standing there. I will now refer this Norbert as Norbert the 1st and the other Norbert as Devil Spawn Norbert. Norbert the 1st has managed to reproduce himself an exact replica or "clone" of himself. I have no doubt it is part of a plan to fuck me over. Devil Spawn Norbert lives outside. Norbert the 1st lives inside. When we came home Devil Spawn Norbert was lurking in the bushes near the side of the road and when we drove up he gave me a look like he knew he had been caught. When I came inside Norbert the first tried to trick me by being all purry and nice but I know better. There is no doubt that they are now working together to kill my family. It makes me wonder how many more are out there.
I am carefully reading this while looking over my shoulder. I don't want Jazz to see it. I don't think he knows that cloning himself is possible. And devil spawn Jazz would be lethal.
ReplyDeleteLoved your snow image too.
There are times when ive wondered of our cat Rocky can walk through walls.. the I realized she was climbing out the kitchen window :)
ReplyDeleteSnow look nice until it gets slushy and Mucky. Nice pic
Rumor has it that Norbert has about 100,000 evil spawns hiding away in Alaska, waiting to come out one night and strike all at once. Killing living creatures is part of the practice. Good luck with defending yourself.
ReplyDeleteYes! I totally remember that post! Did you find more Devil Spawn Norberts?
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be surprised if a cunning feline found a way to a-sexually reproduce. Like he coughed up a massive hairball that gained sentience. I'd love a Norbert if I could train him to only attack destructive squirrels and not the birds.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for spring so Kamir can go back outside and stop terrorizing the dog.
ReplyDeleteOne time we thought our cat was dead- we didn't see her for a few days. Sure enough, we found a dead gray cat and buried her. A few hours later our gray cat showed up. Alive.
ReplyDeleteWhat cat did we bury? Jeez.
If you don't like the weather, wait ten minutes, eh :) Snow, followed by slush, followed by rain, followed by snow, followed by....
ReplyDeletePenny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar has told me that cats have this evil plan to take over the world and turn humans into slaves. What? Evidently that's already happened :)
I wish to thank you for your most thoughtful comment on my blog. Thank you, Birdie.
Gary :)
Poor little guy does not get to hunt.
ReplyDeleteHow was breakfast? What did you get?
Bwahaha! Oh honey, please excuse my laughter but you are so funny when you tell stories about Norbert. ;-) I hope the clone Norbert doesn't hunt the hummingbirds!
ReplyDeleteI am so TIRED of the cold. This has been a horrible winter and I'll be thrilled when Spring comes in. Your pic of the snow is a beautiful one. Hugs, Mina
Perhaps he has an evil twin and they're just playing with your head. They may even switch on you sometimes, and you don't even know that it's not really Norbert in the house. Well, you know cat; they're sneaky like that. I don't let my cats go outside. Ever. The very thought that they'll come home with some poor creature makes me mental. Plus, we have coyotes passing through now and then. Some cats disappeared in the neighbourhood because of them. Karma for the birds and chipmunks and mice and many other little critters that were victimized by these cats, no doubt.
ReplyDeleteLove the Norbert story! I'm still pretty new here, so I hadn't heard about him yet.
ReplyDeleteCapt. Nap also likes to dash out if given the chance. He's remarkably fleet of foot, give his, er, ROBUST size. We immediately stuff him back indoors. Given our love of birds and the feeders we have, I'd feel bad letting the cats out to dine!