I wish, oh how I wish I could explain anxiety. I can say that it is different that a panic attack though the words are used interchangeably. A panic attack comes on you and eventually goes away. They can happen several times a day but they do go away for a time. Anxiety is a mean old bitch. Anxiety stays with you. The symptoms are the same as a panic attack but stay with you for days, week or months at a time. It drains you of almost everything good in life. For me, I get so tired that I can't cope. My stomach almost never lets go of the knot. I shake constantly. Sometimes it is noticeable and other times not at all but I can feel the tremor inside of me. Anxiety makes me feel a sense of doom. My particular sense of doom is that I have grieved God and He is going to send me to hell for eternity.
Lately, the only time the anxiety disappears is when I am at Al Anon. Why? Because most of the people at Al Anon are just like me. How it is possible that I could find even one person that is insane as I am is beyond me. Finding a roomful of people is something else all together. I am learning I can share everything with these people and when I do it is a room of bobble heads because they understand. And to add to that, nobody offers advice, criticizes or gossips. It is what I wish church was like. No leaders. Just a room of equals who gather together to share their common problems. You don't need an active alcoholic in your life; I don't. The only requirement is that you have been affected by someone else's drinking. And I have. So yes, the anxiety lifts when I enter the Al Anon rooms. I am told that the times of anxiety will get further and further apart. I have to trust that that is true.
And enter my draw if you haven't yet.
I am having a giveaway to celebrate blogging for 10 years! Yes, 10 years! I have had different blogs that fit with that time of my life but my first post was February 6, 2004. For the giveaway I want to keep it to people who actually read my blog and we have interacted some way. So let me know if you want to enter. What I am giving away is a surprise but it is a book that I just love and makes me happy whenever I read it. And right now I can say I wish I could send something to all of you lovelies. Draw will be on February 6th in the morning.
I didn't realise Al-Anon still looks after you even though your alcoholic is no longer in your life. That's good. And if that's where you feel safest - keep going. Take help and support wherever you find it.
ReplyDeleteThey are closely linked aren't they Anxiety and Panic Attacks - You explained the difference well!.. both are tough to experience. anxiety is a creeper i think, and i find that more and more people seems to say things like.. i cant relax.. i've forgotten how to.. you know what i mean? I think its a very modern disease, but could be wrong
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I believe in God at this point in my life, but I'd like to think that if there is one, it would be kind and loving and wouldn't be sending people to hell. God is love. Anxiety is a personal hell many of us know all too well.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you find comfort and solace at Al-Anon. This fog WILL lift, my girl. I personally believe anxiety is the souls' way of saying it needs a change, the way things are aren't working. You will find your way through this.
It's always great to find a place where you can come together with people who aren't there to judge or criticize. That is very cool.
ReplyDeleteThat's good that you can find a relief in Al-Anon. I'm more prone to panic attacks. They happen with alarming frequency, triggered by a myriad of different symptoms. I wonder if there's an Al-Anon type place for intermittent panic attack sufferers.
ReplyDeleteKeep going and doing whatever relieves your anxiety. I suffer from all three nooses ; anxiety, anxiety attacks and depression. All are genetic. My dad, his mom, me and my daughters all suffer. Sending hugs, Birdie. XO~
ReplyDeleteYes. You explained it well. It's like being in terror every waking moment. Which is just about the worst. One of the things about religion which I find most offensive is just what you described- it can make very decent, good people feel as if they are falling short of some imaginary bar, set in place by humans who have misinterpreted (whether on purpose or by mistake) words which were written eons ago and which have been mis-translated anyway.
ReplyDeleteThat's my opinion.
Keep going to Al-Anon. I am so glad it gives you relief.
Good is God's creation and evil is the creation of Man. No way are you threatened by Hell other than the earthly one you put yourself in or allow others to put you in with unkind or stupid words and thoughts. You have a beautiful soul and it is trying to convince you of your goodness. God made you and God don't make no junk!
ReplyDeleteYou're right about anxiety.
ReplyDelete