To answer some of the questions about my step-daughter and her pregnancy.
She is most definitely pregnant. She says she has been to the doctor and this I believe. She says her doctor is not giving her any pre-natal advice or suggestions. That is a lie. She lies more than she tells the truth. Her own mother is a head case. She lost custody and guardianship of her daughters and does not see them. My husband is adamant that she is not going to come live with us because this girl has been a handful since she was a teenager. I mean, she was so "bad" that she was chosen to attend a program for the worst 12 kids in the city. My husband has gone to the ends of the earth and back for her. He has been there for her day and night and has never let her down. When everyone said to put her into foster care he stuck by her. They stories I have heard about her are unbelievable. Personally, if she were my child I would have kicked her ass to the curb a long time ago.
Which brings us to the newest development. She is now no longer speaking to her dad because apparently he made a comment that she didn't like. He is not sure what he said as he is only receiving this information second hand through his other daughter. It was her b-day this week and he gave her a gift. No phone call to say thank you. Nothing. She is apparently done with us. I kid you not. This girl is the single most selfish and ungrateful person I have ever met. That said, I sent her a couple of books on pregnancy through Amazon because all I can hope is she will get some proper prenatal care.
I did go to Al Anon last week and got myself straightened around. For all intents and purposes we are washing our hands of this. She nor this baby will never come to live with us. We cannot continue to enable her. No doubt she will call her dad when she wants something. She always does. This is his road. He will need to decided what to do when that happens. And god, this is going to be hard. But it is her row to hoe. She better get at it.
I'm proud of you and the way you are both on the same page. It won't be easy, but the alternatives wouldn't be either. Don't let her take you down with her. Stay strong.
ReplyDeleteStay strong. I hope this young lady comes to her senses. It's a shame when kids by their own choice miss out on loving people.
ReplyDeleteTough love... and it is definitely tough.
ReplyDeleteYou have to find a way to trust "the system"... hopefully, when the baby is born they will contact the proper authorities and either help her out or find good placement and care for the baby.
I pray the baby is born with few problems and that the mother will realize her care of her child begins now...
I agree with your approach. Sometimes having a baby can make an irresponsible young woman grow up and start becoming an adult. Sometimes. I hope it will be the case here, for everyone's sake. Good wishes and good luck to all!
ReplyDeleteI hope with all my heart that you and your husband will stand by your guns, and not allow his daughter to push you into any kind of arrangement you don't want. This is NOT your problem... keep telling yourselves that, and don't let yourselves or anyone else try to talk you out of your decision. It sounds to me as though your husband has been a good father to this girl, and she is simply incapable of appreciating his efforts. I put my parents through a similar hell when I was young and stupid. I ache for the pain I caused them and would give anything in my power to undo all of that dreadful mess. I'll be thinking about you and sending good mojo your way. Stay strong! xoxoxxx
ReplyDeleteYay. Not an easy decision but I think it is the right one for all of you. I suspect from what you have said she will still try and yank your chains, so good luck and stay strong. Many, many good wishes.
ReplyDeleteCorrect decision. But it won't be an easy one to stick to. Good luck and big hugs.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to let go. I have had to do it more than once. But I keep thinking that enabling the wrong behavior is making it worse. It's more difficult with a baby involved. I'll be thinking about you and your husband.
ReplyDeleteYou've gone above and beyond - it's up to her now. Sorry, this must be so hard to see.
ReplyDeleteBTW your line about damaged spinal cords had me laughing!
Good Luck Birdie...
ReplyDeleteIt won't be an easy road...
You and hubby will have to stick together, and draw strength from each other...
Anytime you want to talk...just shoot me an email...
Your Friend
Linda :o)
Growing up with idiot parents isn't always a bad thing. I'm living proof that you can survive your childhood. I think we all are, right? Imagine the coping skills that little baby is going to have! And just because you don't want to raise the child doesn't mean you won't have anything to do with the child! Babies are wonderful and each one of them is a gift. I know it's hard to see that right now but when he/she gets here? It will change your life. It's up to you to decide how.
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