So, my daughter god bless her was taken over by evil teenager a couple of years back. She has been replaced by snarky girl that rolls her eyes whenever I say anything. For the sake of this post I will call her *. I just start to say her name. "Na..." and she is already rolling her eyes in disdain. I am fairly certain she hates me with ever fiber of her being.
Last night I needed to go into her room for something and I could not believe the mess. Not just a little laundry on the floor either. It is full out disaster area. If the TV show Hoarders could see it they would consider her and her bedroom for a show. I lost it. When she came home I ordered it cleaned and decided to help her because I know how she cleans. Everything gets hidden. (I know this because I was a messy child and did the same thing. I also have a small amount of understanding about how completely overwhelming it is to have a mess like that and not even know where to start.) We went in there with a garbage bag, laundry basket, give-away box and a recycle bin. I went through each and every piece and she rolled her eyes every single time. I am surprised her head didn't start spinning around. Anyway... I am now sick because I am very allergic to dust. My glands are swollen and it hurts to swallow. I am wheezing. My eyes are itchy. It was 9 hours ago that I helped her. The part that makes me mad is I should not be helping her in the first place. She is way too old for that. What kind of parent enables a 15 year old to live like a slob? This one, because I am stupid.
By the way, it is after three in the morning and I am wide awake. Again. I made myself a piece of toast and the fucking smoke detector went off. The setting was only on 3. Which makes me wonder why the settings need to go up to 10 when it burns at 3. It is a gimmick that's why. Oh, this toaster goes up to 10! It must be a really good toaster! I am going to buy it because I am stupid.
Sounds a lot like my middle daughter. Except my daughter was drunk every night when she was fifteen. It will get better.
ReplyDeleteI woke up at 3am as well. Fuck!
Teenagers. GAH!
ReplyDeleteMy oldest was a slob and still is. The youngest is a spazzy neat freak like myself. Way easier to live with a neat freak!! When the oldest moved out, I found a Tupperware of cake from several months before under her bed. I could have killed her.
ReplyDeleteThe three a.m. thing, I totally relate. Avoid caffeine in any form and drink lots of water. Try to have quieter activities to do in the night! LOL! I can just picture you trying to get the smoke detector to stop...lol!
I have the same problem about waking up in the middle of the night, in fact several times at night I wake up.
ReplyDeleteDavid went to the store and bought Estroven Nighttime for me. I'm going to try it tonight. I'll let you know about the effects Monday morning.
I know what to do about Natalie. This might work, if she were my daughter, I'd let her go about her business and live in the filth. She will get to the point where she will need clothes, so make her wash them. Don't help her. Make it like she's living on her own. She will get tired of a smelly room and clean it soon enough. I know because my mom did the same thing to 2 of my sisters. They are clean nuts now.
You mean you didn't buy a toaster oven that went up to 11? I'm disappointed in you, Birdie (Spinal Tap reference). And although I do not have a 15 year old, I remember being one and hating the world...mother included, if not topping the list.
ReplyDeleteAnd I would have helped, too. Because, #1, yes it is overwhelming to stare at a pile of mess and not know where to start (been there, done that, and was defeated by that), and also because...#2 the house needs to be clean, dammit! All rooms included!
Natalie is a very pretty name, btw. And Natalie is lucky you didn't take pictures of her and the room to really call her out. ;-)
Meanwhile, aren't you supposed to be taking it easy still? *angry face*
My oldest daughter was a slob...
ReplyDeleteNow she is 39...and a neat freak!!
I think that by you "helping" her..at least it gets done...perhaps you should "pop" into her room more often...keep her on her toes!!!!
Hope you can get some sleep..
Relax....watch The Masters!!
Beautiful scenery...for sure...
Cheers!
Linda :o)
Must be a virus going around because my 15-year old has a lot of those symptoms, particularly the eye rolling and snarky attitude. Until she needs me to buy her something or drive her somewhere. Then she's sweet as molasses. She's a little messy but not really at slob level. I do not straighten our her room anymore. Every two or three weeks I pass a quick floor vacuum around her room because I pass it around every room. And that's it! The rest is up to her. I quit!
ReplyDeleteUgh, feel better! Everything here is in bloom so we've been sneezing our asses off.
ReplyDeleteAw, you are NOT stupid! I really do not think you are "enabling" your daughter to live like a slob. Besides the fact that she is a teenager, I do think some people are just inherently neater than others; many messy people will tell you they honestly didn't notice the mess. Keep focusing on all her wonderful points, don't be so hard on yourself, and try Zyrtec!
ReplyDeleteAh the teen years! My kids and I were at each others neck for a while but it pass and this will also pass.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you get better soon!
you are most definitely not stupid. and your daughter most definitely does not hate you. and i used to help my daughter clean her room sometimes too, because i wanted it done right, and like you i knew how overwhelming it could seem. now, at college, she keeps her room pretty tidy, so they do learn, even when they are doing a very good imitation of refusing to take in what you are trying to teach them. xo
ReplyDeleteI do hope you start to feel better soon. Dust sensitivities are such a blight.
ReplyDeleteAnd, infuriating as it is, at least your daughter's eyeballs were getting some exercise. And I am really pleased that you didn't simply do the cleaning for her - which would have been much, much easier and quicker too.
she sounds like a normal teenager....I was the exact same way unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteYou sound like an awesome mother! And not stupid either. You sound incredibly understanding and sweet and it was very nice that you helped her!