Don't tell anyone but I am at work right now. It is coming up four in the morning and the person I am caring for is sleeping peacefully. I am so freaking hot that I have taken my shoes and socks off. I have never blogged at work before and I know I am going to go to hell because of this post.
My attempt at losing weight is going terribly. I am so hungry that I want to rip someone's head off. I thought I had planned properly but I am obviously not eating enough. On my days off I made a huge pot of vegetarian minestrone soup that was very good but I need more than soup! I also made hummus and cut up a few hundred pounds if veggies but I am still hungry. It is making me cranky. Because I work odd hours it is hard to plan meals. For instance, I have no access to a way to heat up a meal right now. Let me get honest here. I also happen to love Doritos. And chocolate. Bah. I don't know. I feel like Evelyn Couch in Fried Green Tomatoes when she says I wish I had the courage to get it over with and get really fat.
Well, I am feeling guilty so I need to go. I am off at 8:00 this morning and I will not stop on the way home for donuts.
I think sometimes one needs a kick in the pants. Mine was becoming diabetic because of being fat. Please don't let it get that far.
ReplyDeletewhat? no donuts? success! drop the balloons!
ReplyDeletei know this is gonna sound crazy. it would have to me too. i was never a runner and so i started walking until walking was too slow. i hurt like hell but now i run anywhere between 4-8 miles a few times a week and it is freedom. freedom to eat 2 chocolate rolls at 10 pm...often. the running part is not as hard as you would imagine. the eating part is awesome. and i'm a smaller size then when i was in university.
(i see your layton quote on the side. i'm so sorry we don't have him directly in our world any more.)
i love your humour, birdie. you're not going to hell for this:)
xo
erin
Never confess to the crime of blogging at work ON YOUR BLOG! Sheesh, Birdie!
ReplyDeleteOh I was thinking like Debra.. not a good idea.
ReplyDeleteEffective dieting is tricky.. it's different in the 40s than it was in 30s. It gets even more difficult past 50. And add in changeable work hours and you really have a challenge.
You'll find your place though. Try cutting back more gradually than you've been doing. You don't want to feel hungry.. there's no need to feel hungry and it works against you. The simple and fool-proof way to lose at least a little weight is "Eat less and move more." You get to chose how much of each. ;)
Now I'm going for a walk. Don't you tempt me with donuts!
Cadbury Fruit & Nut chocolate, I just can't avoid it. That's my sin or pleasure.
ReplyDeleteI'd take out the work part....
Is there a "Curves" near you? Even if you start out with just the exercising, you will enjoy the variety of friendly women and the supportive environment of motivation rather than shame. The nutritional advice is there, if you want it, but you don't have to. The best thing is that you aren't scheduling around specific class times. You walk in anytime and do your thing. I know I sound like an advertisement but I had such misconceptions about this before and, in reality regret not joining sooner. (Blood pressure back to normal, done with anti-depressants, found some muscle-tone and lost a few pounds without dieting).
ReplyDeleteI think you need more protein. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteYou need more protein in your diet to help stop the cravings..an example of what I eat is Deli turkey cut thin and just roll two slices together and eat..As you are of "A" blood type bean dips would be another protein food you could make and have on hand with some whole grain crackers...
ReplyDelete~~Blessings~~
What the other ladies said about protein... I lost 50 pounds twice after the babies, it was hard as hell. I starved. I was miserable. But the only thing that worked was the high protein Atkins type diet, the only way I could get the weight to keep coming off. Plus a very type A food journal tracking my calories, fat and protein. I ate a lot of cheese sticks and yogurt, not so much fruit and veggies, because the carbs made me crave more carbs. Having an unusual schedule must make it so much harder.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck on your mission. It's so much easier to put it on than take it off, and after menopause, it's dang near impossible.
And as for blogging at work, don't you get a break, or lunch? That's when you blogged, right?
you are not going to hell!!! being hungry all the time sounds miserable! some protein, like fish, beans and nuts, might help with your hunger. try not to be so hard on yourself.
ReplyDeletehugs
lisa
Good going, Birdie!
ReplyDeleteHow many days in is this???
Come on....eat sensibly...do you love potatoes, as much as I love potatoes???? First thing I do , is take out the potatoes...baby steps, Birdie...baby steps!!!
Now...I am calling your Boss!!!
Cheers!
Linda :o)
Mmm... doritos and chocolate. :)
ReplyDeleteOh how I know about the frustration of a diet. I've been doing a gluten-free one for awhile now. It's been helping me for the reason I started it, but I haven't lost any weight on it. I wasn't doing it to lose weight, but I was hoping that would happen just the same.
I love your Erma Bombeck saying under your header. I am going to send it to a friend I have known since high school. We are always trying to figure out a way to lose some weight. I just bought a new scale -- its still in the box. I have to face reality and open the box. Then use it. Good post! -- barbara
ReplyDeleteYou are right it is not just about the eating, but the energy behind the motivation to eat... and it is also about being kind to yourself.
ReplyDelete1) Post this message next to your mirror to see every morning: "Hi, Birdie, this is God. I made you in my image and I love you... do you think I'm only looking like Bon Jovi in jean ads? No, I look like lots of people - just like you. Remember I still love you no matter what."
2) Having an 8-8 schedule is the hardest because you are not on a circadian rhythm which is what your body really wants you to be doing. Recommend that you eat more protein every couple of hours and not try to have 'regular' meals. Make sure you have fibre in some form - psylliam husks, etc. - and even though you love Doritos (I do too) try not to eat them in the wee hours when your patients are sleeping and cannot report you for diet violations - LOL!
3) Finally... it has not been a year yet since your mother's death turned your world upside down and you can still feel all that grief. If you lose/dispose/get rid of/ 1/2 lb per week, at the end of a year of doing that you will be 25-30 pounds lighter and your eating habits will have changed for good. Trying to lose it quickly seldom proves to be successful.
Intending this is helpful and you are realizing that Love is both the cure and the kindness you need. Hugs, Sandy