And Another Day Finished

I don't want to post today.   So far, blogging does not seem to help and at this point I highly doubt I will ever want to read this again.  The kids and I went to see my mom this morning.  She is looking very tired.  She is still in denial.  How can you say goodbye when the person you are saying goodbye to doesn't know they are going anywhere?   Tomorrow or Tuesday will be arranging of Palliative care.  I have to work tomorrow but will just have to leave work early as I want to be there to help make decisions.  
Personally, I am just feeling a sad numbness today.  I slept most of the day.  I got up to make dinner and do a bit of housework but I am going to be going to bed early tonight.  My heart is physically aching.  I feel like my spirit has been vacuumed out of me.  Even while writing this post I have had to stop several times to rest and put my head down on my desk.  I am also thinking ahead to her funeral and how I want to honour her but nothing I could do or say could ever come close to that.  She is an amazing woman.  I believe we all learn many lessons in this life but one lesson she never had to learn was loving and giving abundantly of herself.  Anyone who ever met her knew this.  Our world is going to be less one amazing and truly giving person.  I don't understand why God takes the beautiful ones.  Tonight I don't even want to think about why because there are no answers.  It is a question that we all ask when some truly beautiful person leaves us too soon.  I am glad that God is all loving and has broad shoulders because I am angry at Her right now.  Even though, I still feel loved and that I am nestled tight to her bosom.   
In other events, my sister's baby is still tucked safe inside her.  My sister and her husband lost a baby through miscarriage this year so we want this baby to stay safe where she belongs.  She is at 33 weeks now.  I also ask for a safe and healthy delivery for both my sister and  the baby girl inside her. 


Namaste

My Day

I guess the time has come when I will eventually have to tell people.  I am not ready for that but people need to know.  I ran into my beautiful aunt today and she asked how I was and I started crying and had to tell her.  She gave me the tightest most wonderful hug, transferring part of her strong faith to me.  She also gave me a handkerchief which I will keep with me to remind me the love of my family and how they with hold me and my mom up in prayer and in love.  I am blessed.  Abundantly so.


I had a dream last night that my mom had died.    I woke up crying.  I took an Ativan and went back to sleep.  I slept until noon.  After I woke up my finance and I went to feed the ducks in "our" new backyard.  (It doesn't belong to us exclusively, it belongs to the city but I am going to call it "mine" or "ours")  There were not many ducks.  I guess they are sitting on their nests waiting to bring new life into the world.  Click to "imbiggen" the pictures!

 My Waterfall

 My flower

 My Trillium

 Another part of my waterfall

 My bumpy tree. This tree really is mine now simply because I love it.  I gave it a pat today when I walked by.  I think I will actually give it a name and hug it every time I walk by.  I am from the Pacific Northwest and tree hugging is a normal thing to do. I see a rabbit in this tree.  Do you?  Any ideas for names? Maybe "Bunnie".  

 My Indian paintbrush.

 My favourite tree is the Weeping Willow.  I can't get to this tree to hug it but I will love it just the same.  It needs a name too.  I think I will call her Willow.

 A duck resting in the sun. He might have a wife but he is mine too! 

 We sat for a long time in our new backyard.  It was rejuvenating.  I am so grateful for the ducks, trees, flowers and waterfalls.  

Namaste

Introducing...Grief

I had to tell my kids tonight.  I mean, they already knew.  I have done my best as a mom to prepare them for this over the last few years. But tonight I had to tell them that Nana's  time on earth is coming to an end.  But how can I prepare them when I am not prepared myself? My daughter is 13 and has tears but she deals with things differently than I do.  She is strong. Or maybe she is just not  understanding the finality of it all.  My son is 15 and has always been a wise person.  My son who now towers over me.  My son who has such strength of character sobbed.  He initially hid his grief.  Once when he was a young boy I decided to clean his room and get rid of some of his stuffed toys.  I went looking for him 20 minutes later and couldn't find him.  He was hidden wrapped up with all the stuffed toys and crying.  He was not ready to let them go.  Tonight when I told him that Nana was nearing the end he did much the same thing.  He went into the bathroom and quietly gave way to his grief.  I called him out and asked him to come and sit with me.  He at first refused, he wanted to hide his grief.  He came from the other room, eyes red and tears streaming down his face.  My tall strong son, broken.  I put my arms around him and told him he did not need to hide away the hurt.  We sat for several minutes and now he is in bed.  I can hear him sniffing.  My mother heart wants to go to him and tell him everything is going to be ok.  But, it isn't going to be okay.  This is going to cause pain for a long time, maybe for the rest of his life as Lana can attest to.    I realize one of the awful lessons we need to each our children is how to hurt, how to grieve.  It is a hard lesson.  But it is my job to teach them to open their hearts and allow the pain to flow out.  


Namaste

Palliative

I spoke to my mom's nurse today and asked how things were really going.  Now it is just about pain control.  The nurse will speak to her doctor when he does his rounds this evening about moving her to the Palliative ward.  
When I spoke to the nurse I was bewildered.  I kept thinking, "I am too young to be having this conversation. You need to be speaking to someone else."  But I am old enough.  It is just when it comes to my mom and dad I have always been the child.  They have always taken care of everything.  They are the strong ones!  It feels like I am not old enough to be making life and death decisions. But I am.  I don't know how to do this!  Why is it that everyone else out there has their shit together and can deal with this hell?  I sure can't.  This whole battle I have felt three years old.  I am not dealing with this with "dignity, grace and acceptance". 
At any rate, I spoke to the nurse and actually requested she move to the palliative ward.  I actually requested she not be sent home to die.   And I feel like a shit for that.  What kind of person prefers to request that her mother die at the hospital?  I don't know what is right.  All I care right now that she will come to some sort of peace as she is very depressed right now.  
And I asked God that she does not have to lay in bed for days with that awful death rattle.  Please, not that.  
I don't know how I am supposed to feel.  I am not ready to say good bye and yet I can't handle to see her suffer.  Yes, I do know what I feel!  I want her to be healthy and well.  I want more time wih her.  I want my mom for another twenty Mother's days.  Her birthday is May 5.  I want her here for twenty more of those too.  But, who ever promised we could get what we want in life.
My god, this hurts so bad. Tears come faster than I can wipe them away. I sob. I can't breathe. 


Namaste

My Mind is Blank

I am without words.  Well, actually I have a lot but I  don't want to think about them right now.  So, instead I will share my talismans.   I don't really think of them as "good luck" but having these things in my life makes me happy.  All of them are small and did not cost much but what they signify tells it all. (Click on pictures to imbiggen!)

~My books mean a lot to me, especially ones on my Quaker beliefs.  In the pile is, "The Road to Mecca" because I understand Helen or rather, she understands me.  

~My worry dolls sleep in a drawer beside my bed.  Lately I have been taking them out and putting them on my bed stand.

 ~There is a piece of Rose Quartz on a necklace from a family friend that died from ALS.  

~My crow stickers, the newest addition to my treasures.

~A piece of Amethyst

 ~My Angel and Fairy cards.

~An Ovarian cancer pin given to me by a woman about my age that lost her mother to Ovarian cancer. 

~Three rings.  A mood ring for fun, a ring from my great aunt and my 16th birthday ring from my mom and dad.  

~Chocolate!  Organic and dark!  

~My sketch book for drawing out what I am feeling any particular day. 

~My purple lavender sleep stones. 

~ A Mandala book.

~The Velveteen Rabbit.

 ~ A book of poetry written by the same Aunt that gave me the ring.  

~My pencil crayons in an Emily Carr (my favourite artist and author) tin. 

~One of my favourite books right now, Life is a Verb.  

~Not in this picture is every book written by Emily Carr.  I also have some of her prints.

  ~The blue scarf is something I picked up simply because I love the colour.  

~This is my cat Norbert.  He is not a thing.  I love him very much and he offers a lot of love when he is not being a cranky ornery cat.  Which is his job. 

~And the things that you can't see are the people in my life that I hold so close to my heart it hurts.  

Namaste

Time Away

My fiancé and I went away this weekend.  We both needed the time away. 

Spring had arrived.

 Someone doesn't understand what being green means.  That is almost a sin here on the west coast. 

I made another cat friend.  I have made a lot of cat friends in my travels. 

I went into Chinatown where I bought come CD's and an amethyst that I can squeeze my grief into.

I found a message for all of us on some steps.  

I found some seagulls to love.

I love crows too.  Because someone has to.

I searched for a four-leaf clover so  I could make a wish.
  I didn't find one. 

We went to different book stores where I cried in the death and grieving section.  A thought came to me while standing there that maybe if I never moved again my mom would not be able to die.  I cried on the way home because I am returning to something I am not ready to deal with.  I returned to my kids and my cat.  And life continues even if I don't want it to.


Namaste

  

The Pendulam

I have been swinging back and forth with emotion.  I am feeling more centered now. Reiki helps.  I have been meditating, focusing on love in this great and powerful universe. This, as painful as it is, is a small blip on what God has planned.  I can't begin to understand it. I have tried.  On a bigger picture we all try every day to make sense of our universe.  We want to understand.  I have raged at God.  But as of yet, I or nobody else has been given an answer as to why bad things happen.  Maybe we need to pour all our focus on the good things, the love.  Many us read others blogs because we want to connect and love others.  We also want to be loved. I know I have received that  already. I feel your love and Reiki energy all around me.  How beautiful is that? So many of us, so different, but our energy is the same. It goes deep and can't be described in words. It is so ultimately perfect and good.  It is good.  There is evil and bad all around us but wow, the good is so good.  


Namaste


Here is one of my meditation songs I have been listening to.  

I want to be able and look back and not forget this journey, as big and terrible as it is.  So, I will keep posting.


I spoke to my dad today about when the time comes and she is in the very last stages of living. ( I don't like  the word dying.)   Home or hospital? I am a Home Support nurse and a large part of my job is palliative.  Dying at home is nice but it is not all sunshine and roses.  For the most part, your home turns into a mini hospital room.  A hospital bed.  A wheelchair.  A walker. IV poles, hospital bed sheets, bed pads, catheter bags (night and day), medications, little garbage bags, boxes of Kleenex, hospital gowns, raised toilet seats, bath chair, commodes, nurses coming and going, social workers, home support nurses and on and on. I want what is best for my mom but the reality is I need to think of my dad. He has to be able to live there after and not have to look at the place where the hospital bed was, the place where his wife died.   And yet, maybe that is what will be best. I don't know.  Then I wonder how I can look at this so calmly.  


I am going away for the night this weekend.  We booked this a few weeks back and were going to cancel.  But I think I need to get away and think, though thinking is all I am doing right now. There is an exhibit of my favourite artist but I just can't make myself care.  Normally I would be jumping at the chance.  The thought of wandering around the museum does not fascinate me at the moment. 


 My cat is peeing everywhere.  Very stressed.  He hates people coming in and looking at our home nearly everyday.  He also is picking up on my stress.  Right now he is hiding behind my laptop.  He let me do a few minutes of Reiki on him today but then gave me a love nip to say that he had enough. Poor cat.  I am usually a very quiet person and have very few guests. The last three weeks there has probably been close to 45 different people in here.  




Went to Reiki today but I ruined it by having caffeine and now I can't sleep. 


Namaste.

Well, I guess it is time for a new post.  Right now my mom is in surgery to have a colostomy bag put on. The surgeon is not 100% hopeful that he can even do that.  The cancer is everywhere. I have taken a few days off work to let this settle in.  I hope I will be more clear headed next week.  


It is so strange how two weeks ago all I was thinking about was getting my home on the market to sell.  Now that is done and people are coming through and though I want it sold as soon as possible it is no longer in the front of my mind.  It just is sitting there floating in the back of my mind as I go around keeping it presentable.


I had my mom set up yesterday to receive Hospice care but now she is refusing. I am disappointed  because I know how amazing Hospice is.  She has gone from acceptance to denial. I have never been a fan of Kubler-Ross and her 5 stages of grief.  I believe grief is a continuum.  Infinite. I believe all five stages are always going on within themselves and we can go back and forth.  The hardest part is at the epicentre.  That is where the strongest feelings of anger, denial, bargaining and depression take place. Some days are worse than others.  Some minutes are worse than others.  Even with my own grief on this journey I can be in the centre at any moment. Crying and anger but an hour later I am away from the centre of the "8" and just feel tired and numb.  And this will never end.  Ever.  Even thirty years from now I can experience the same awful feelings I feel now but the episodes in the epicentre will be much further apart, months or years.  The time spent in the epicentre may only last a few minutes or a day or two. A birthday or anniversary.  A reminder. In the later years we drift on acceptance.  What else is there to do? 


What I wish for my mom and ask for my readers to pray for for, is that she makes it until my sister has her baby and that she gets one last summer with my dad at their cabin.  That is what we all want right now.  One more summer. 


 Namaste


Update - My mom got our of surgery at 1:30 am and was able to get the colostomy bag.  That  is a relief.  She will be able to be comfortable now.  I am going to Reiki today.  Reiki. What would I do without Reiki?  I also ask my Reiki healer friends to please send your positive energy this way for me and my mom. 

So, Now What?

If you haven't read this post yet you will need to so you can understand today's post.


Never Give Up!  But what happens when you have to give up?This morning the reality of what is happening is hitting me.  This could be the thing that finally kills my mom.  It is weird. Cancer is so evil it also creates other sicknesses and diseases.  If cancer doesn't kill you, it will create something that will.  If that doesn't work there is always the chemotherapy.  That does a lot of people in too.  I know there are a lot of survivors.  But that will not be the case for my mom.  So, how do you give up?  We are taught in our society to never give up anything.  Be strong!  Be courageous! Be brave!  But we can't be those things anymore.  My family has to accept reality.  Seriously, it would be easier NOT to give up. Giving up is the hard part.  


And later that day...


What a horrible thing to sit across from your mom's surgeon and have him tell you she has 2 or 3 months left.  WTF?  WHAT? WHAT! WHAT??!!  I am numb right now.  My body's natural shit kicking in to protect me from pulling off my clothes and going out onto the lawn of the hospital and cursing God.  Who the hell do you think YOU are God?  She turns 65 on May 5th. You ASS God!  WHY? WHY! I want to know WHY! TELL ME!  Why not purge the world of its many assholes?  I swear, there was some shit-for-brains young kid in a sports car parked in a handicapped spot tonight at the grocery store.  Take that useless piece of shit!  People that park in handicapped spots when they don't need them are a breed all their own.  We don't need them here but I need my mom GOD DAMN IT!  


My mom was diagnosed 3 months after she retired.  She has always been the sweetest most loving mom that I could have ever asked for.  When the surgeon told her we cried.  I crawled into the hospital bed with her and we cried together.   She first asked me to look after my dad.  (I will Mom, I will.)  She worried about my kids. Having grand kids, she says is the best thing that has ever happened to her.  I told her I would be OK.  But I won't.  Yet, I guess I have no choice.  This is too surreal.  


Namaste

Bad News

My mom has had cancer for six years.  She was initially diagnosed with Ovarian cancer.  This week she has not been doing very well and ended up in the hospital today.  The best that can come out of this is she has to have her bowel removed and will need to wear a bag,  You can guess what the worse case will be. 
I am weary of this disease and what it has done to our family.  We used to be so close but because of this insidious disease we can no longer spend much time together because my mom's frail health.  Cancer has taken away my mom piece by piece. It has taken away our family piece by piece.   Our story has never been one of those hopeful stories you hear about where there is courage and bravery.  It has been cruel and awful every step of the way. 
This is what it has been like for me... When I was three I lost my mom in the shopping centre.  I felt unbelievable fear and my whole world fell apart for those five minutes.  I found her again of course.  But now at forty, I know I will never get back that feeling of relief to be welcomed back into her arms and feel safe again.  The pain and fear just goes on and on.  I am three again. I want my mom. 


Namaste


Update (Monday night) -  So the diagnosis was correct.  She has a large tear in her bowel and needs surgery right away. But,  she is too weak to undergo any such surgery.  Blood transfusion tomorrow morning and the internist and oncologist will see from there.  It is a Catch-22.  She needs the surgery or she will die.  She can't have the surgery because she is too weak and will die. I hate cancer.  I  hate it.  I am told we should not have the word hate in our vocabulary.  Those people have never known cancer. 

Snatam Kaur - Ong Namo

I am not Sikh. I am not even sure what Sikh's believe exactly.  I guess I should. I am a Quaker. I do not go to a temple, church or other holy place. I worship at home. Listening to this artist pour her heart out to her creator makes me realize all of us are wanting to see the face of God. We all want the same. So simple. 


Namaste


Oh my beloved
Kindness of the heart 
Breath of life I bow to you
And I'm coming home,
And I'm coming home
And I'm coming home, 
And I'm coming home
Oh my beloved 
Kindness of the heart
Breath of life,
I bow to you
Divine Teacher Beloved Friend
I bow to you Again and again!
Lotus sitting on the water (Guru dev guru dev namo) 
Beyond time and space (Guru dev guru dev namo)
This is your way (Guru dev guru dev namo) This is your grace (Guru dev guru dev namo) 
Ong namo guru dev namo Ong namo
This is your way Guru dev namo This is your way..

I Should be Posting but...

I have nothing to say.  All I do lately is clean my home so it is ready for viewing.  My (slightly evil) teenagers go around and mess it up on purpose.  I am convinced of this. I got up this morning and there are bits if stuff everywhere.  When this happened is beyond me but it must have happened in the night while I was sleeping. 


Getting my haircut today.  I am going to colour it tonight as my roots have not been this long in years. How lame am I?  Blogging about roots is hitting the bottom of the barrel.  According to Hollywood roots are in. Is that a joke?  That is worse than the Friday song.  OK, no it isn't but roots are bad. 

Later that day...  I hate my hair.  I had it cut and now I look like a poodle.  From Annie to a shorn poodle in less than an hour.  *sigh*


Namaste

My Favourite Song Ever!

Little Boxes by Malvina Reynolds

Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky tacky
Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes all the same,
Theres a pink one & a green one
And a blue one & a yellow one
And they are all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

And the people in the houses
All went to the university
Where they were put in boxes
And they came out all the same
And theres doctors & lawyers
And business executives
And they are all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

And they all play on the golf course
And drink their martinis dry
And they all have pretty children
And the children go to school,
And the children go to summer camp
And then to the university
Where they´re put in boxes
And they come out all the same.

And the boys go into business
And marry & raise a family
In boxes made of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same,
Theres a pink one & a green one
And a blue one & a yellow one
And they are all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

Major Hair Removal Needed!

Finally, finally, finally I have my home ready to be listed.  I had my realtor here this afternoon and signed the papers.  Whooot! I have worked so hard to get it ready to show. I am exhausted but happy it is done. I am looking tired and neglected.  I am not kidding, my hair looks like Annie's.  My eyebrows are so overgrown I look like Groucho Marx but not in a good funny way, but in a scary frightening way.  


Looking forward to some time to stare at the wall this weekend.  I missed Reiki this week trying to get everything ready and I am feeling it.  I am feeling overwhelmed and I am having panic attacks in the morning.  bah.  Had some not great news from my mom with her last cancer check but I am no going there in my head and just hoping it is nothing. 


Just wanted to do a quick check-in post.  I am so weary I have no new thoughts on anything.  


Namaste

Holy smokes is it loud in my place tight now!  I have the tub doctor here drilling a hole in my tub, I have the Citrus-O Carpet guy here cleaning my carpets. I am sitting on my island (my bed) and staying out of their way.  I  am craving a cold Coke but I can't go and get one *sob*  Would you think less of me for calling my dad and asking me to bring me an icy cold Coke?  Because I did.  In my defense, he is just down the road and he wants to check that Tub Guy and Carpet Guy are doing.  He wants to make sure their are doing a good job and not ripping his beloved daughter off.  He has a major Coke addiction (about a Litre a day) where as mine is only a minor one that comes on once every few weeks and just a can satisfies.  
Lots going on here as you can tell.  I had someone on this morning to measure for new linoleum.   


OK,  a moment to digress. I had my cat in his crate because he is does not like people and noises scare him. . He is sitting his crate and I thought I would let him out to sit on my lap.  BAD idea.  He freaked out and started to run and went right over my laptop.  He ripped the "T" right off!  I can't get it back on. *sigh*

Anyway, my Coke is here now and I feel happy again.  Cat is still terrified.  Poor baby.  I want to take him out and comfort him but that would probably not be a great idea as I may never see him again.  He is so scared right now he would probably end up Tabouleh's and she is in Thailand.  That is about  7396.52 miles or  11903.55 km. He would likely take a leap from my bed and fly the whole way.  So, Tabouleh, if a grey tabby cat shows up a your door, he belongs to me and he goes by the name Norbert.




Namaste

What a crazy week this has been!  Where do I start? 


I have been doing renovations on my home so everything here is in a huge mess.  I had painters here this week.  My home is slowly coming out of a disaster zone.  As my mom says, It looked like The wreck of the Hesperus! Instead of just putting everything back where I found it I have done a major de-clutter.  If it didn't get thrown in the garbage or recycled it went to this giant exchange that takes just about anything usable or that can be fixed.  It is a junk collectors dream and it is a declutterers dream.  You can take stuff that is not in great shape but not ready for the garbage and people come along and buy it for cheap.  For instance, I got rid of kids toys with missing parts.  At the same place you can also recycle anything.  Batteries, glass, Styrofoam, plastic, paper, CD's, metal...everything except # 6 plastic!  I live in the Pacific Northwest and most of us are pretty Green.  The place I am speaking of is always very busy.  It is open 364 days a year 12 hours a day.  I love it!  Anyway, I have digressed, yet again.




And... dah dah dah!  We bought a home!  It came on the market and did not even get a chance to be fully listed.  We went to see it and put an offer in immediately. It is PERFECT!  It has a huge yard so we can plant a garden!  Eeeeeeeeeeee!  It is near a protected provincial park and there is a river and waterfall nearby.  And, get this.  I have always had a dream of having a pottery studio and this home has an attached storage which I can potentially turn into a studio! We had an inspector come in today and there were some issues with the roof.  We need to look into that but if everything goes well all the conditions come off Wednesday.  Move in date is June 24!  Yay!

Onto other things. Thanks to Ethel for the Stylish Blogger Award.  With this award I am supposed to come up with seven tidbits about myself then pass this award on to ten other people.


1.  I love snakes, spiders and other assorted legged and winged creatures. 


2.  I use The Diva Cup and recommend that every woman uses one.  I would never go back to using any other feminine product if you paid me.  They are environmentally friendly and I have not had to put out a penny into having my period since I started using it.  

3.  I am a history buff and really enjoy genealogy.  I have pictures in my living room of my great, great, great, great, great grandparents.  Last year I found where they were buried.  How cool is that? 

4.  I have been blogging on and off for about seven years.  This is my third blog. I have changed blogs because I felt like I grew out of my old blogs. I still have two original readers.  Catherine and Kelly.  


5.  I  "suffer" from severe anxiety but I am not really a worrier.  I just have these bizarre panic attacks where a feeling of dread comes over and immobilizes me.  They happen in the morning just after I wake up.  I am learning to live with them.  I wish they were not a part of my life but I think I am a better person because of them.  

6.  I am a recovering hoarder.  I was |<   >|  this close from possibly needing to seek professional help.  It has taken me many years and a lot of hard work to live in my relatively clutter-free home. I did it on my own.  I am proud of this achievement!


7.  I believe my grandmothers are my guardian angels and I can feel them with me.   




If you read my blog, you can consider yourself tagged!  Or not!  ;-)


Namaste

Back again from our overnight stay.  We went to see 39 Steps which I will give a report on in  a moment. 

We stayed at a hotel near the theatre.  Nice hotel.  Very nice.  The room was beautiful and spotless.  It was bright and should have been quiet.  Should have been.  I normally would not make a snap judgement but because this has happened before I feel entitled to an opinion.  Hockey teams.  More specifically junior hockey teams that are allowed to make noise all hours of the day and night and their drunken parents who do nothing about it.  It was so loud!  Running up and down, up and down the hallways and stairs.  Playing and holding up the elevator.  Playing games on the lobby computer.  Dropping platefuls of food, not picking it up and walking through it.  Parents drunk and sitting in the lobby flirting with one another, completely oblivious to what their kids are doing. The manager was embarrassed and gave us a free upgrade for next time without us even asking for anything.  I am not sure what the specific deal is with hockey teams as we have stayed at a lot of hotels with kids and never had a problem.  I have kids!  I know what to expect of them.  It is just bizarre.  At any rate, when we got home I had a hot bath and a sleep.  Anyway, rant over.  Hockey parents, if your kids act like this, get control of your children and lay off the alcohol. 


The play.  Fabulous, creative and absolutely hilarious.  It is now in my top five plays.  Four actors playing (get this) 150 different parts!  It was fast paced and the 90 minute play seemed over in about 10. There were times when I was actually holding back laughter so I could hear the next lines.    If you ever get a chance to see 39 Steps see it! You will not be disappointed.  Anyway, I had a lovely time with my sweetie.  Even with the hotel, every day with him is a good day. 


Nothing new on the buying a home front.  Need to take some time to rest our brains and re-evaluate.  I am back to work tomorrow with a crazy day ahead.  I am supposed to have done so much more to prepare for the painter tomorrow.   So, another weekend over.  *sigh*