I am weary of this disease and what it has done to our family. We used to be so close but because of this insidious disease we can no longer spend much time together because my mom's frail health. Cancer has taken away my mom piece by piece. It has taken away our family piece by piece. Our story has never been one of those hopeful stories you hear about where there is courage and bravery. It has been cruel and awful every step of the way.
This is what it has been like for me... When I was three I lost my mom in the shopping centre. I felt unbelievable fear and my whole world fell apart for those five minutes. I found her again of course. But now at forty, I know I will never get back that feeling of relief to be welcomed back into her arms and feel safe again. The pain and fear just goes on and on. I am three again. I want my mom.
Namaste
Update (Monday night) - So the diagnosis was correct. She has a large tear in her bowel and needs surgery right away. But, she is too weak to undergo any such surgery. Blood transfusion tomorrow morning and the internist and oncologist will see from there. It is a Catch-22. She needs the surgery or she will die. She can't have the surgery because she is too weak and will die. I hate cancer. I hate it. I am told we should not have the word hate in our vocabulary. Those people have never known cancer.
I am so sorry. I will send some healing vibes your way and to your Mama (stat).xx♥
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how sorry I am. I have been exactly where you are and at about your age. I'm still trying to learn to mother myself. I say to you, you can live through it. But it's hard. Love your Mother and yourself the best you can. And we'll love you.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear this, I hope all goes as well as it can. I can relate to what you and your family is going through only to well...only to well.
ReplyDeleteso so sorry to read that .
ReplyDeleteCancer is an evil disease, i have lost too many loved ones recently and just heard that another friend has been diagnosed.
I will send you many, many reiki prayers and your mum too xxxxxxxxx
Lovely Birdie... it must be hard, but you have been strong for six years now... and you can continue to be... your mom will forever be with you... if not physically, then spiritually... she will always be there... it is painful to see her hurting and in pain... you just want to protect her...but know that whatever the outcome is.. you are still her baby and she is your mother... that will never change. My hearth goes out to you and your family... May love and strength bind you together...Bless you all.xoxoxox
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