Lately it seems as if this blog has served its purpose. The last few weeks I feel as if I am forcing posts. And the Black Dog is lurking. I can't be completely honest on my blog anymore. I have to monitor what I say so it seems quite pointless. The only safe thing to write is about stupid shit I am doing and the weather.
Then again, whenever I think I don't want to blog anymore there will be a shift and I start up again. Right now however I just have nothing. My heart feels empty and my soul feels cold. Yes, I know I was doing so well but I can't write here about what is going on. Blogging used to be so therapeutic. Now it isn't.
So maybe a break? Maybe so. If you don't hear from me for a while you will know what. But who knows. Maybe I will post tomorrow.
Do what's best for you, Birdie, and take care of yourself too. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteEchoing the comment Debra made. Do what is right for you. You are in my heart whether you post or not. Take care of yourself. And more hugs.
ReplyDeleteOh oh. I don't like the way this sounds.
ReplyDeletePlease keep in touch! I worry about you over there!
Email me.
I can't even begin to tell you how much your comment meant to me this morning. " A moment in time" ......I have gone over that sentence numerous times today. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteAs to you blogging.....if it feels good to stay connected and write about whatever pops into your mind, then do it...even it it doesn't seem "blog worthy" to you. You just don't know how your words may be used to process your own life and help someone else. If you want to stop, I will *really* miss you, but I do understand and hope you can return soon.
hearing you.. take care as always
ReplyDeleteits really hard being in the depths like you are, so take your time, and knowing that we are all out here, wishing you the best, might help a bit... stay in tune to yourself and it will work out..hugs from across the pond.. all the best...J
ReplyDeleteyou arent alone.... I could easily have typed those very words 2 weeks ago.. for the most part its past now and I am back in good mode.. I know to enjoy this time for as long as it lasts and rather than dread the dark hole, I'll just face it when it comes- IF it comes. maybe if I stop fearing it- like the neighborhood bully it'll leave me be..
ReplyDeletesending you Light and Hope
Sonny
I go through the same feelings as you too with my blog, sometimes it's wonderful, other times it feels like a ball and chain around my neck.
ReplyDeleteDo what is right for you, it's your blog after all.
The best thing about blogging is that you can do it at your own pace. No one forces you to blog. I'm sure that if you don't blog for two months, your readers will still come back to you when you start posting again.
ReplyDeleteDo whatever works for you. I do the same. Take care woman.
ReplyDeleteWell, you're under no obligation, but using blogging as therapy can take many forms. I've written about past experiences, the world around me, things that make me mad, things I enjoy greatly, but in no way am I a model for anything. I personally hope you don't go away, but obviously it's your decision.
ReplyDeleteIt is your blog, your life. I want you to feel good about all of it. And to have peace.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Birdie! We're here...
ReplyDeleteIT's a shame you don't feel like you can continue to share. Obviously there are reasons for that and we'll all respect them. But we'd also like a semi-regular check-in, even if all you do is tell us you're still there. We worry.
ReplyDeleteI have emailed you.....
ReplyDeleteLike everyone said......do what you feel is best.....know we care and are here for you. (HUGS)
ReplyDeleteTake it one day at a time, Birdie. No need to go further than that.
ReplyDeleteDear Birdie,
ReplyDeleteYour honesty actually comes through, my dear friend. You have to look after YOU. I understand what it's like. The gift of empathy is powerful. You can see you are not alone. Your friends have stated this above.
Bless you and know I'm here for you.
Gary
I'm sorry it's up and down - I've been there. Hang in there. It does get to the point where it's mostly up.
ReplyDeleteI always think of something my boss once said to me. She was a very refined and dignified person tiny and neat who never used any kind of curse words or insults of any kind. We were on a retreat and I was complaining about something over and over and suddenly out of the blue she shocked me into silence by saying, "You're on your own you little shit ass!" She is one of my best friends to this day but I will always think of that response and how profound it was. Basically that's what it all boils down to.
ReplyDeleteWe are here for you. I'm concerned why you think you have to monitor what you say, Hope everything is ok. Sending hugs your way!
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling of 'being watched,' but perhaps it's more important to you to hold on to your support group and friends than it is to worry about what certain people think. It's up to you, but I will always be sending you big hugs and hoping one day we will meet.
ReplyDeleteSo long as you have the support you need then that is all that matters. I have been there as you know with not feeling able to be honest anymore on my blog. I miss it so much and all the support I received from the community but on balance the anxiety it would have created to continue at that time would have outweighed the positives. Such a shame really. The break has done me the world of good and I am due for a check in. I hope the black dog doesn't lurk too long and goes off on a search for a bone or a ball or something. I will miss reading and commenting but you need to do what feels right for you. Like so many of your blogging friends I will always think of you and be wishing you good times. You know I love you although I've been away for a while. Hope what ever it is that is making you feel unsafe here soon goes away. This has been a safe place for you plus we will miss you. Xx
ReplyDeletepretty nice blog, following :)
ReplyDeletepretty nice blog, following :)
ReplyDeletePopped in to let you know that I am thinking about you Birdie.
ReplyDeleteSure thing, Birdie. I've been thinking about ya. Cold there? Flippin' freezing all ding dong day long. Burrrrrrrrrrr.
ReplyDeleteI'm eating a Kashi crunchy bar. It's not good. Won't get these again. No flavour.
Dear Birdie,
ReplyDeleteJust a follow up comment from me, Penny the lovable Jack Russell dog. Like our good friend stated, The Happy Whisk, you are in our thoughts.
Pawsitive wishes and pawsitive hope,
Penny the Jack Russell dog :)
Ya, I'm feeling like that myself. I hope you feel better soon and then pass it down to me cause I could use some. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteJust got your message. Ketchup. Isn't she a hoot. Really, no matter how many times I see that scene, I laugh out loud. Such good stuff.
ReplyDeleteHope you start to feel better again. I'm feeling a little better myself. I might have gained a foothold on this MS finally. Who knows. But my energy levels have skyrocketed off the charts. I did so much this weekend and this morning that I'm feeling a bit scared that it will all go away as fast as it came on. Time will tell.
ReplyDeleteBirdie, I was thrilled to see another post from you in my reader. Not so happy to see just a full stop. And no room for comments.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and love.
So what does the current post mean? You had a point to make? You got your period? ;) Come on, Birdie dear.. give us more.
ReplyDeleteHi Birdie,
ReplyDeleteMy human and I noticed your latest article, just like Sue above this comment did. We want you to know that empathy is a gift we share with you.
In peace and hope,
Penny and her human, Gary.
Happy to see your latest post in my reader. Even just a dot. That's fine. Are you sending out signals? Good to see you. Xx
ReplyDelete