The last few weeks I have been doing crappy posts. My mind has been somewhat empty. Or maybe it is just full and I can't organize my thoughts. I don't know.
My dad is sick with a fever, likely related to all the invasive things that are going on with the prostate cancer. I have a huge pile of information that be brought for me to read. He is at a huge disadvantage as he has dyslexia and cannot read so he is not able to make informed decisions regarding treatment. Again, as with my mom it will fall to me. Not that I mind. I don't mind one bit but it would be nice if my brother and sister would step up to the plate. When my mom was sick neither of them did a thing. But, I am the responsible child and always have been. If I stepped away neither of them would step in. Things would just not get done. How can I leave my dad to make treatment decisions on his own when he can't read? Oh, well. I really don't want to sound like I am complaining because I would go to the ends of the earth for my dad. It would just be nice if his other children would too.
I have been feeling sick to my stomach for about 3 weeks now. I am drinking Pepto Bismol (my sister and I used to call it Pepto Shito) and eating toast. I have no appetite. No, I am not pregnant. (Horror of horrors!). Maybe it is just stress. Or a virus. I don't know.
My laptop cooling mat fan is no longer working so I have to cut this short before my laptop melts. I can't even touch it on some parts it is so hot!
Another fight? You are a true warrior! Stop eating toast and eat veggies, it will make wonders to your stomach.
ReplyDeleteMy computer is, sometimes, so hot, it shuts off alone... so, I understand you;)
Thank You for your kind words left @ B.T.E. ..I see your dealing with a boat load of emotions yourself..We Shall Over come!
ReplyDelete~~HUGS~~
I think it is stress.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry.
Stress can be very powerful in taking over our lives and body... For me the combination of expectations and stress, are detrimental to my health and serenity. Keeping you in my prayers my friend.
ReplyDeleteI also have a laptop that wants to melt... so I can relate.
Definitely stress, which is understandable considering what you're going through. Unfortunately we can't control the actions (or lack thereof) of the people around us who should be stepping up to the plate, but don't let yourself get run down physically or mentally. The best thing you can do for your dad is to stay healthy yourself. My thoughts are with you, take care!
ReplyDeleteI owed an assisted living for the elderly 15 bed facility just closed it last year :(( economy any way I had seen so many times that it was usually 1 family member that carried most the responsibilities sadly true & with that come caregiver illnesses, stress is so overwhelming to our bodies you have to know limits and take care of YOU!!! Give yourself a break, YOU are not helping by trying to do it all & your dad knows you are there for him so he WILL understand you sitting down for a rest :)
ReplyDeleteit is so heartbreaking for me to know how hard it is right now for you, I am praying for you lady & if you ever need to unload I am here for you with too many years of experience of CAREGIVING for the older generation :))
Have you actually asked your brother and sister to step in? If you've always been the responsible child, maybe they just assume that's how you want it to be. I know that my sister would say the same thing about me - but she's always just done things without discussing what needs to be done.
ReplyDeleteTell them you need help. Tell them you need one of them to read the papers to your dad - and then let them get on with it.
Hi Birdie .. I got some help with my uncle and my mother .. but the caring has always fallen to me - that being there for them. Mind you the family theoretically were better qualified for making some of those decisions - but then I got the result and the rest of their care.
ReplyDeletePeople are people - sadly we just need to do our best .. with thoughts - Hilary
Prostate cancer is a slow cancer. His doctor told my Beloved that most men suffer from prostate cancer when they get old but that they usually die from something else, like old age.
ReplyDeleteI just read a few posts back. I am so sorry, but your post on Rectocele made me laugh out loud. I am still giggling.
One day at a time..all we can do.
ReplyDeleteYeah....what is the deal with crappy siblings???
ReplyDeleteOne of my brothers died at 36, and he and I were very close...I have another brother and a sister...not too thrilled with either right now!!!
Great post...great feelings...
Cheers!
Linda :o)
Oh honey, I know you are happy to care for your father but I sure hate to see you go through this alone again. Shame on your brother and sister for not sharing some of this load. I'm sure your stomach issues are stress related. Take care of yourself sweetie.
ReplyDeleteThank you for that lovely comment you left on my blog and though I had never thought about it, I'll bet they fly amongst them as well. Thank you for putting such beauty before me. Hugs always, Mina
i hope you feel better soon. i'm glad your dad has you.
ReplyDeletei hope you feel better soon. i'm glad your dad has you.
ReplyDeletei hope you feel better soon. i'm glad your dad has you.
ReplyDeletei hope you feel better soon. i'm glad your dad has you.
ReplyDeletei hope you feel better soon. i'm glad your dad has you.
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