WTF is a Rectocele?

Remember when you got your period for the first time?  Do you remember feeling embarrassed and worrying that someone might find out? You thought that nothing could top the feeling.  Remember your first pap?  Oh, the humanity! I mean come on! The word speculum alone is an atrocious word.  I am here to attest it can get worse.  Much, much worse. 
I saw my gynecologist last week.  (I can't believe I am going to actually tell you all about this.)  I have been having all sorts of fun with the hot flashes, night sweats, wanting to kill someone irritability, and a general feeling of crappy.  But I went to the gynecologist because well, I having been leaking urine.  Pissing myself.  Just small amounts mind you.  Just enough for it to be a bother.  We chat.  I can barely look her in the eye.  I mean it is embarrassing.  Up on the table I get with my piece of paper and hoping I remind her to not use latex on my bits because I will keel over dead right there.  She comes back and does whatever it was she needs to do and she tells me to push and I kid you not...  I peed on her! I. Peed. On. My. Gynecologist.  I have no dignity left.  None.  I gasped my apology and she (being totally awesome) tells me it is a gynecologist's office and it happens everyday.  OK.  OK.  I recover from peeing on her and then she does more "inspecting" and it turns out I have a rectocele.  WTF is a rectocele?  I don't even want to know.  I mean the word "recto" is telling enough.  I am feeling ill at this point. (If you want to know what it is, look it up.  It is too disgusting to talk about.  And I implore you, don't do an image search! gag)  It turns out that when I gave birth to my son the forceps did a number on me.  That and the episotomy and tearing really made a mess of things.  How lovely.  Now I am pissing myself and constipated.  Great. Should I be happy that this is repairable?  All I can think of is how this surgery is going to be done.  I just picture my ass up in the air while the rest of me is covered.  I really can't think on it now.  I thought I had hit the bottom of the barrel having my pap every year.  It turns out it can get worse.  Much worse.
So there you have it.  There is nothing more that I can share with you.  It can't get any worse.