Frustration

I have been doing the same work for many years. I love it.  I can't imagine doing anything else and feeling fulfilled.  But there comes a time where there is a breaking point.  I can no longer keep doing this as it keeps me and my children living well below the poverty line. 

 I have always worked hard and earned an honest wage.  My clients tell me they have never seen anyone work as hard as I do.  When I go into a home my whole being is centered on the person in my care.  I care for them not only physically but emotionally, mentally, spiritually and socially.  For some of the people in  my care, I am the only person they see for days at a time.  They rely on me to be their eyes and ears.  I have been with them after calling 911 for emergencies, I have held their hand as they spend their last days on earth and there is no one else, I have sat with them as they come home after the funeral of a spouse.  I have held buckets when they vomit and cleaned up GI tubes when they have burst.  I have cleaned diarrhea out of hair and shoes.  I have become a loving face to an Alzheimer patient (that no longer recognizes family)  even though she still does not remember my name after 2 years. I also give baths, clean toilets, do laundry, change beds and wash and vacuum floors.  I have advocated.  I have loved with my whole heart.

I do this because I love it.  I do this because I am called.  I never expected to become wealthy but yet, I live below the poverty line.  I am required to pay my gasoline as I drive from client to client.  (Ex - I drove 75 km. one day last week. I was not paid for my time or distance.)  I am called to do ONE hour shifts, even though the law states I must be paid for a minimum of two.  I graduated at he top of my class and have pages of glowing references from previous clients and their families.  

For all of this I get paid $14.50 an hour.  Take away taxes and expenses of driving and I don't bring home a whole lot.  It saddens me that what I do has so little value.  Am I not worth more? Is it too much to ask to be able to put food on my table?  Is it to much to ask to be able to pick up some clothes at a thrift store a few times a year?  I was able to take my kids to eat out in a restaurant once last year. Once. With my pay cheque I pay my mortgage, strata, phone, hydro and internet.  I realize the scoffers out there are already thinking I could get rid of the internet but I have two teenagers and they require access for school.  

I am at my end.  What do you do when you want to do something that is good and honourable but society robs that from you?  What, indeed. 

Namaste