I found out about a year ago that I am Highly Sensitive.
I hate loud noises. I startle easily. Caffeine makes me loopy. Bright lights overwhelm me. I need to go off and be alone at least once a day or I am unable to function. I can't watch violence, real or on TV/movies. I hate the mall. I get panic attacks with the aforementioned.
With that I have this huge heart that loves people very easily and sees the great in people. I am aware when someone needs something, whether emotional, physical or spiritual. I love art, classical music and the performing arts. My inner life is very satisfying and rarely feel lonely or bored. I can do things in my job, like working with a dying client and know that this is all part of a higher calling.
For years, I hated that I never really fit in. Though I have oodles of friends I never enjoyed the "party scene" and would much rather be at home or off feeding the ducks. I want to become a palliative chaplain. I know I am called to work with people in the last stages of living. I have felt honoured and privileged to be with people in their final days. It is a precious time. Being with someone when they are born and when they die is an incredibly intimate experience.
I am so glad that after 40 years I am no longer confused or embarrassed by the person I am. Some days I wish I could join my friends for a drink at the pub. (Too loud.) Sometimes I wish I could enjoy the lighter things and life and not be so serious all the time. (I have been told to "lighten up" more times than I can remember.) But when it comes to the end of the day I have great peace and I wouldn't trade that for anything.
Namaste
http://hsperson.com/pages/test.htm
I share some of these in common with you especially malls I can't handle them. I think it is great that you have found your inner peace :) I'm going to check out that link you posted.
ReplyDeleteWell I indicated that 18 of the items are true of myself, and therefore am most likely HSP too. Interesting I knew I was anxiety prone, but this is the first I've heard of HSP :)
ReplyDeleteSue - I highly recommend the book The Highly Sensitive person by Elaine Eron! (Try your local library and then if you like it try her other books.) I answered all in the positive except one. Now that I have figured myself out I take measures to not have anxiety. Right now I am taking my time away in my bedroom, my sanctuary. (However, my 15 year old son has found me and is talking my ear off. I could never tell home to go away because one day, he will not be interested in talking to his mom. BUT, I digress.) I need my rest and my time alone. There are many things in my life that I need to do. If I pay close attention I have kept my anxiety to a minimum but I have had to work at it. I think the most important things was just realizing I was HSP. It has become easier since knowing.
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful at any age to know your calling. Your compassion will take you far.
ReplyDeleteI completely understand. I think I must be sensitive also though not as much as you. Loud noises, crowds, etc. I am more of a recluse. The blog has served to let me share parts of me that cause me shame and unhappiness without fear. Bloggers are wonderful folks.
ReplyDeleteI would like to suggest this web site. It is ostensibly about style but you'll see there is a lot more there. http://stylecrone.com/ Her husband is in hospice. Their journey has been deeply felt by me.
I really empathise with you.
ReplyDeleteI think there must be something that draws people to this kind of life. I always found it so hard at school. felt like people went off me left right and centre, and fell out with me.
Now, some 20 years on, I realise that it was my "over" sensitivity that made it hard, i sensed when people were not in a good mood and at that time took it that it was me that they were in a mood with - i now realise that quite possibly it was something unrelated but i gave them a safer outlet for letting rid of sadness and frustration, somehow i allowed them away with it because they needed it and i kind of knew it wasn't actually directed at me. Ofcourse it felt sad at the time as i didn't understand why they would direct hate at me when I had done nothing - but i understand now. It still can make it hard in terms of working relationships but without it I could not be the reiki practitioner that I am and do the jobs that I have done and do.
It is definately a blessing - much better to be sensitive than spend your life trampling over others. I am sure that you have given those peoople you work with more than you will ever know - and i feel that it WILL come back to you in return.
xxxx
PS - some of the book recommendations on here look great and really helpful.
Reiki is not the only thing we have in common I see... I read your post and a lot of what you said made so much sense to me... I felt that it was very close to how I feel... huh! I took the test and voila... I ticked 17 boxes... go figure... it makes more sense to me now... thank you for your post... and thank you for the link... Bless you!
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