My day started earlier than normal today but it is all good. Tired? Yes, but I am always tired. I was able to go to Reiki today but the practitioner seemed distracted. I have never really had that happen before. During my session someone's cell phone went off and three different times someone came up to speak to my practitioner. It was weird. I tried very hard to be in the moment but with the distractions it was difficult. Oh, well.
I started a new 10-week course night course on working and living with people with severe and persistent mental health issues. A person I care for has some issues that I am finding incredibly challenging and I hope I will gain some insight on how to deal with his delusions and how to keep myself level. It can be frustrating to deal with someone who insists that people are spying on him, stealing his money and everyone is working together against him. I find myself getting frustrated and that is the last thing he needs. The saddest part is this man has pushed away everyone from his life. (Or maybe they choose to stay away because his heart has very little love.) I am the only one who ever spends time. Ever. I have to believe this is for a reason. I often ask the creator (who thought it would be a good idea to create me) why. Why me? What can I do for him, this man whose is full of anger and resentment. He trusts no one but me. We are from two different worlds! I keep praying that I am making a difference and I am just not the person who takes him on outings twice a week. He needs love. I have oodles of love to give. My heart overflows with it to the point of joy and bitter-sweet sadness. I am hoping it will rub off. But after seeing him for almost a year now I do not see any change. I don't even know the change I want to see! I feel like I am the one who is "going crazy". He has a serious mental illness and being a nice and loving person is not going to stop him from being delusional. He is sick. It is like saying is I love someone with cancer or diabetes enough they will get better. I am frustrated and weary. What can I do but to keep loving and doing what I feel called to do?
Namaste
Hello Birdy!
ReplyDeleteAren't you already a reiki healer? You don't need a practitioner. You need people who are reiki healers as well and together you can do it.
I do it myself, to me, everyday, even if only for a few moments. It helps.
You are very strong.
Kiss
Isa
We are ants. We only see the world from an ant perspective. Maybe one day when you are flying high with the eagles, you will see the great contribution you have made to this person's life. ♥
ReplyDeleteOf course you are making a difference if you are the only one he trusts... believe in that and in yourself... Thank God you are there for him and that it was someone as genuine and caring as yourself and not someone else... Well Done Birdy!
ReplyDeleteOh, God! This story brought tears to my eyes. You can suggest journaling and art making to that person, if there is a little chance if he accepts an idea. I read in a lot of sources that it might be a healing experience. I;m doing it myself. God bless you and stay strong!
ReplyDeleteThe fact that he trusts you means that you do make a difference to him. Your course is a good idea though.. to help you to cope. You can't/won't heal him.. but you can learn had to manage your own way of dealing with him. Good for you for caring.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your visit to my blog.