Welcome to the World!

 ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸❤¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ ~~ happy dance ~~♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸❤¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

She is here!  She is here! She is here! She is here!  She is here! 

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸❤¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ ~~ happy dance ~~♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸❤¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

My sister had a baby girl.  She is the most beautiful baby! 

 Lots of hair and  healthy!  


I did not get to be there because she came

too quick.  (My BIL's mother missed her too.)  However,

 my mom saw her and that makes me do another

one of these.

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸❤¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ ~~ happy dance ~~♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸❤¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

My sister is doing excellent and wants to go home.  Oh! 


 They named her xxx.  She was 7 pounds 14 


ounces.  AND!  There is one more piece!  She was born 


on her mama's birthday!  Oh yes,  she was!  My sister's


 birthday is today.  She was born in the same hospital 37 


years ago today!  Do you think our family could contain 


any more happiness?  My sister has decided she wants 


to go home already so I may have even more pictures for 


tomorrow at our Father's day dinner.  And her is a picture


of her and me her happy, happy Auntie Baba. (That is 


what my family calls me.)

I am Ashamed

I have never been ashamed to be a Canadian. I have always been very proud of my province.  No doubt you have already heard or read about the rioting that went on after the hockey game last night.  I am ashamed.  I am not proud.  I am embarrassed.  I am disgusted.  I have heard that this riot was planned by a group of individuals but as far as I can see this is more than a group of individuals.  Take a look at these pictures and decide for yourself.   

I am dismayed and confused.  These people are an insult to what the majority of Canadians stand for.  The people I know are humble, quiet and peaceful.  There were over 150, 000 people in downtown Vancouver and yes it was a small percentage of people that were looting and causing destruction.  But still, there are a lot of people in these pictures.  

As I went about my day every single person I spoke to was dumbfounded.  We don't know what to say.  This is not our Canada.  

Last night I wondered what I could say to all of you.  I felt actual stress today on how to approach this.  I have nothing to say because saying anything condones what happened.  All I can say is on behalf of the millions of Canadians out there that would never act this way,  I  am sorry.  To my American readers, I apologize.  Boston played a great game and is clearly a stronger team than Vancouver.  My congratulations go to the team and the fans.  

Cold Lemonade with a Touch of Vodka

I am so done with today and it is only 4:30.  I got up this morning and took the chickadees to school.  Came home.  Did a bunch of change of addresses.  Made an appointment to donate blood which I hate doing because it scares me.  But I know how important it is so I do it anyway. Still, I hate it. Spoke to my mom's new gynecological oncologist. (I love her.)  I made appointments to get windows in our new home.  I was checking things off my checklist left, right and centre.  I went to work and took a client out, took another client from Wednesday and saw her today instead.  Picked up the chickadees at school.  Picked up some groceries.  Came home. Phone rang 3 times within five minutes of coming through the door. I then called the oncology department.  I called my mom's lab to set up a home visit.  I called oncology again. The lab called me back.  My mom called.  My fiance called to cancel an appointment for tomorrow.  And now!  And now,  I am drinking some cold lemonade with a dash of vodka.  I am not much of a drinker and have had the bottle of vodka left over from a friends birthday in February.  I was glad to have it today!   
When I spoke to my mom's oncologist the news was the same.  No more treatment.  She did say something different from the Internist.  She said she does not believe in giving a time limit on how long her patients have to live.  She said she doesn't do it because they are often wrong.  So why did the Internist do it?  Remember that post?  The horrible telling was so unprofessional from a doctor that did not even know my mom.  Anyway, the Oncologist is now saying they do not know.  I am angry at the Internist for doing something he had no right to do. He has no idea what he has put our family through.  The thing is, he is likely right or not too far off but so much of this should have been handled better.  I will be speaking to the Palliative department in our city about how poorly this was handled.  
OK, I am tired and rambling.  


Namaste.

Reaching a Milestone?

Is it a milestone?  I am not sure if that is the correct word.  It appears my mom will be around for the new baby.  My sister is due in 3 days.  (Though her doctor thinks she will be late.) My mom is feeling OK.  She and my dad went to their cabin yesterday.  She has been out of bed.  She is still not eating much and has lost a lot of weight.  However, I am happy.  This was important to our family. I guess it is expected that she will be feeling better because she is no longer receiving chemo and she has recovered from the colonoscopy.  I am in a place where I keep thinking the doctor is wrong. But this is cancer.  I don't know what to think or feel.  It really makes me grateful for each day.  At this moment she is not suffering.  Our next  milestone is when we move into our new home.  She is almost as excited as I am!  I spoke with my daughter's Orthodontist today and he is hoping that her braces will be able to come off early.  My mom is excited about that too.  (My mom and dad paid for them.)  Myself, I am hoping for her to have one last summer with my dad in their cabin.  They bought the property 16 years ago and were finally able to afford to build the cabin last year. It will be finished in the next few weeks. They deserve this.  They worked their whole lives for this!
No much else is going on.  Not that I need more!  I mean a dying mom, a new baby and buying a new house is a LOT but things are quiet for the moment (touch wood!)  Kids are out of school in less than 2 weeks!  Whoooot!  I love it when my kids are home.  I know most parents hate summer vacation and wish their kids were in school but I love it when the chickadees are in the nest.  Yes, they are almost grown chickadees but they are MY chickadees and I love being with them.


PS - I have started to give my blog address to people I know in my "real" life!  This should be interesting~ 

They Had Eighteen Children!

Have I mentioned yet that one of my interests is genealogy?  Well if I have not you just have to ask anyone who knows me outside blogland and they will probably roll their eyes and tell you to run away while you can before I start in on my family. 


With a lot of help I have been able to trace back to the 1700's.  I have pictures of all my grandparents on my paternal side.  The people on the left are my great, great, great, great grandparents.  They came here from England in 1854.  They lost a seven year old son on the way here to a "throat ailment"  which I think may have been Diphtheria. He was buried a sea.  Can you imagine?  I don't know how they did it.  They came to work in the coal mines, hoping to find their Utopia but died poor.   They had a daughter with them named Eliza who married a man named William.  Eliza was an itty-bitty woman full vim and vinegar.

She married this man.  His name is William.  See the two dogs in the picture?  They were his seeing-eye dogs. William was not born blind.  He also worked in the coal mines. He was blinded by a premature explosion.  Undaunted he and his wife Eliza opened a grocery store. Eliza hired natives to take her to get supplies. It was around trip of 225 km.  She went by canoe!  William stayed behind and made deliveries around town.  How the heck did he do that you ask?  He was blind!  This smart man trained his dog, Carlo to lead the horses and wagon around town. When they arrived at a scheduled stop Carlo barked and the customers came out to get their groceries!  Clever dog! 

This is his wife, Eliza.  You can tell she is about 4 1/2 feet tall.  After William lost his sight she not only went by canoe to get supplies but she and William went on to have EIGHTEEN children.  Dear god in heaven!  William never "saw" any of his children.  Apparently blindness does not affect other things.   I don't know how either of them did it. 
 Anyway, this week I received a CD with over 200 pictures of ancestors from a distant cousin. We have not yet found out how we are related except we were both related to the above people.  For a genealogist it is like striking gold!  I keep looking at the pictures.  They are amazing.   I am so excited to add the pictures to my family tree!

Eliza Had Eighteen Children

Have I mentioned yet that one of my interests is genealogy?  Well if I have not you just have to ask anyone who knows me outside blogland and they will probably roll their eyes and tell you to run away while you can before I start in on my family. 


With a lot of help I have been able to trace back to the 1700's.  I have pictures of all my grandparents on my paternal side.  The people on the left are my great, great, great, great grandparents.  They came here from England in 1854.  They lost a seven year old son on the way here to a "throat ailment"  which I think may have been Diphtheria. He was buried a sea.  Can you imagine?  I don't know how they did it.  They came to work in the coal mines, hoping to find their Utopia but died poor.   They had a daughter with them named Eliza who married a man named William.  Eliza was an itty-bitty woman full vim and vinegar.  

She married this man.  His name is William.  See the two dogs in the picture?  They were his seeing-eye dogs. William was not born blind.  He also worked in the coal mines. He was blinded by a premature explosion.  Undaunted he and his wife Eliza opened a grocery store. Eliza hired natives to take her to get supplies. It was around trip of 225 km.  She went by canoe!  William stayed behind and made deliveries around town.  How the heck did he do that you ask?  He was blind!  This smart man trained his dog, Carlo to lead the horses and wagon around town. When they arrived at a scheduled stop Carlo barked and the customers came out to get their groceries!  Clever dog! 

This is his wife, Eliza.  You can tell she is about 4 1/2 feet tall.  After William lost his sight she not only went by canoe to get supplies but she and William went on to have EIGHTEEN children.  Dear god in heaven!  William never "saw" any of his children.  Apparently blindness does not affect other things.   I don't know how either of them did it.  


Anyway, this week I received a CD with over 200 pictures of ancestors from a distant cousin. We have not yet found out how we are related except we were both related to the above people.  For a genealogist it is like striking gold!  I keep looking at the pictures.  They are amazing.   I am so excited to add the pictures to my family tree! 

Denial, Bargains and Snoring

No results yet for the CT Scan yesterday. I finally got around to reading some brochures on end of life care that the Palliative nurse gave me. I could not finish reading them because I just felt sad.  Hopelessly sad.  Sad as in,  "I want my mom!"  My mom would know what to say, she would know what to do. Some days I feel like I am going to be OK.  I will get through this.  Other days I want to rip my hair out and scream.  I can not deal with this!  I thought I was past bargaining part of grief but I am not.  Here is my latest bargain.


When I was growing up I had two friends that were molested by their mother's boyfriends.  Both of these mothers stayed with the abusers.  WTF?  So, yes.  There are four people right there that can die as far as I am concerned.  The molesters and the mothers that thought it was fine to stay with a man that sexually abused their child.  Bargaining. 


Oh, and denial.


She was able to go for a drive with my dad last week.  Maybe the doctor is wrong!  Other than not eating and drinking, and sleeping 20 hours a day and the dementia.  There is that.  But I still keep hoping.  But then I stop because I don't want her to live like this. But then I think maybe she will get better.  We have all heard the stories of people given months to live and they are alive 20 years later.  The whole thing is exhausting. 


I try to balance my posts and my life for that matter with positive.  My fiance and I signed more papers which is getting us closer to the possession date of our new home.  Can't wait!  I love him so much!  I can't wait to sleep beside him every night even if he hogs the bed and likes the bed sheets all twisted and tangled. (Right sweetie?)  I told him last night that I am going to be the one in charge of changing the sheets because dear god that man is amazing but he can not make a bed. He cooks, cleans, sews, gardens and is the best man on the planet, oh yes he is.  But he can't make a bed.  So I will make it and we can sleep in it.  He can listen to me snore. :-)

Staring at Dirt

I dropped by to see my mom and dad today and things with my mom have taken a bad turn.  After I spoke with my mom on Sunday she became even more confused.  My dad was at a loss as to what to do so he called a good friend of the family who is a Registered Nurse.  When she looked her over my mom was asking "who the boy was with the gun". They took her to the hospital where they did fuck all for her and sent her home.  (Incidentally, the last time she was there they were going to send her home and she ended up having an emergency colostomy and then given 2 - 3 months to live.  She has shit coming out of her vagina!  Is that not reason enough to admit someone?)  Anyway, she was sent home even though she was acting all screwy. She is getting a CT scan tomorrow.  I am hoping that the medication is causing all this confusion but of course the worst case is the cancer is now in her brain.  


So yeah.  Fuck.  Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck. 

In other news it is finally warming up here after the worst Spring in history.  My cat thinks he is dying because he is hot and has all that fur.  He is laying in front of the fan right now all stretched out.  Hold on, I will take a picture. 

See, I just took this picture.  I love technology! PS - This is where I blog. Snoopers of the World  snoop away!  Not very interesting. Just my laptop, cordless phone and cellphone. 

Actually, here are two more pictures of Norbert.  I planted some Sweet Peas yesterday and Norbert stared at the dirt the entire time.  What's up with that? 

Stare

More Staring.  I love this cat so much.  He makes me laugh every day.  He is mean and hateful but look at him!  

So yeah.  That is my life in the last two days.  A over-heated lazy cat. And my mom.  

       

A Round of Confusion All Around!

I have not been posting but it was not for lack of things to write.  I went to a concert on Thursday.  I had the best fish & chips ever on Friday.  I had the best raw organic granola ever on Saturday.  I was able to spend almost the whole weekend with my fiancé.   I will write all about this some time this week but right now I just don't have the energy to put my thoughts into words.


Just now I was looking back to when we were given the diagnosis that my mom has 2 - 3 months to live.  I wasn't making sense. I could not figure out if the diagnosis was in April or May.  When I re-read the post it was not connecting in my brain.  I don't clearly remember any of it but according to my post the doctor told us April 19th.  That will be seven weeks ago.  I think.  Seriously, I can't figure this out. Yes, that was seven weeks ago.  


My mom is about the same but her confusion is upsetting for me.  I called her tonight and she was talking about a lady selling a casino. (???)  She talked about the water being very dangerous right now. (???)  She talked about how she can't go to their cabin right now because renting everything is too complicated. (???)  She knows she is not making sense but she can't figure out how to say the right thing.  I talked to my dad after I spoke to her but she wet herself so he had to hang up.  


So, that is what is happening in my world.  I am going to ask my daughter to brush my hair.  

Here's the Thing...

You all know I am Canadian, right?  Well if you don't you do now.  What comes to your mind when you think of Canada?  Here is an example.  When I think of the United States I think of baseball and hot dogs.  When I think of Portugal I think of a rooster.  When I think of New Zealand I think of sheep.  When I think of Norway I think of blonde people and my (blonde) neighbor yelling at her (blonde) sister in Norwegian something to do with cutting a circle in the middle of a birthday cake. (I still have no idea what that was about.)  When I think of the United Kingdom I think of the Queen and Big Ben.
OK, so you get the point.  I am quite sure these images are in my brain because I have never traveled.  But it brings me to this.  What do you think of when you think of Canada?  Snow?  Beer? Hockey?  Well,  I saw a grand total of less than half a foot of snow this year.  I drink an occasional beer.  So here's the thing...  Hockey.  I hate it. What kind of Canadian hates hockey?  THIS ONE!  The playoffs are on right now and "my" team (Vancouver Canucks)  is playing for the all important Stanley Cup and I don't care!  People are driving around with flags on their cars and everyone is wearing the team jersey.  Everywhere you go there are signs that say, Go, Canucks go! (how original) and I am wondering if the world has gone mad? It is a stupid sport.  The players make way too much money.  When the team scores fans act say "we" scored. No, "we" did not score a goal!  The team did!   I am glad we are down to the last six games because I am tired of all of it.  Stupid hockey.


PS- My lovely American readers stop reading here.  You have been warned.  The only reason I will watch the score is because I don't want a Canadian team to lose to an American team.  I still hate hockey but I am still  Canadian! (I also think I need reading glasses because I can't read this type.  Shit.)


Elaine's reaction to the English Patient is how I feel about hockey...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5qalNX5G94